Kiss Me Through the Phone: How to Deal When Your Love is Long Distance

Ah, summer vacation. Papers are getting finished, exams are coming to an end, and you’re so ready to get out of Cambridge (or at least, out of classes!) and head off into the sunshine. But for a lot of you, there’s probably a raincloud over some of that sunshine—and it’s not just because of the Cambridge weather. Summer may mean fun and freedom, but it also often means separation from your boyfriend for three months—the dreaded long-distance relationship. Long-distance is definitely tough, no matter what the circumstances. But it doesn’t have to be the end! There are many ways to keep the love alive until you reunite next fall.

Visit. Depending on how long distance you are this summer, this might not be an option, but if it is, you should certainly take advantage of it! Nothing beats actually being together, even if only for a weekend or so, plus your guy can show you around all the cool places of wherever he happens to be living or vice versa. But if this is impossible and you’re definitely going to be separated all summer, there is technology that, though admittedly not quite the same, is the next best thing to in person:

Skype. I can’t imagine there are many of you out there who haven’t heard of Skype, but if you don’t have it yet, get it. It is pretty much the closest you can get to actually being together while apart—seeing the other person and hearing them makes them feel surprisingly close by!—and it is basically essential when you’re going to be far away from each other long term. Obviously, the phone and IM are also good options. Just don’t go incommunicado. It’s talking about the little everyday stuff that keeps a relationship going.

Don’t make talking a chore. If you’re stressing about some major project for your internship or you want to spend the night out on the town, it’s okay to not talk for a while. Sure, communication is important, especially when you’re long distance. But if you’re not really in the mood to talk and you do it anyway because you think you should, you’re just setting up a situation where you’ll end up resenting talking to him—and that’s definitely never a good situation.

Text. Don’t underestimate the power of a cute text to brighten up someone’s day and strengthen your relationship. If you see something that reminds you of him or are just thinking of him in general, send him 160 characters telling him so! Almost guaranteed to make him smile—and think of you, both undeniable positives. That being said, don’t overdo it. If he’s never been the kind of guy who’s keen on getting texts from someone three or four times a day, he’s probably not going to be that kind of guy now!

Exchange something. Whatever your thing may be. If you’re both into music, send each other playlists once a week of the stuff you’ve been listening to a lot and/or think they should check out. Both like finding funny videos on YouTube? Exchange video links. You get the idea. Just like sharing everyday random stories when you talk on Skype, sharing this kind of thing helps you stay connected on that everyday level you were connected at when you were together every day. It’s especially nice as a small form of connection when you can’t coordinate a Skype date for a while.

Don’t let fights go on. When you’re not physically together, it can be much easier to let a fight turn into not speaking for a long time. If you and your guy do argue, try to work it out just as you would if you were there, however that may be. Dropping off the face of the earth and avoiding each other may seem like the simple choice when you’re not stuck at college together awkwardly meeting in the dhall all the time, but the relationship is never going to heal if you don’t keep talking things out, even from far apart.

Don’t sit and pine. Of course you’re going to miss him a lot, especially if you guys used to do everything together when you were in the same place, but the worst thing you can do is let yourself get overly lonely and depressed. The more you go out and do things, wherever you may be or whatever you may be doing this summer, the more fun stories you will have to share when you guys do talk. So put his picture away for a bit if you’re getting too mopey, grab some friends, and go have a good time. Don’t let the long distance blues get in the way of your summer fun! If you keep in touch on a regular basis and you’re both committed to working to stay together, come fall, you’ll both be able to fully enjoy your reunion and start things up all over again.