You’re in college, where girls walk around with confidence oozing out of their perfect skin and coke bottle bodies, right? Most likely, they weren’t always that confident, and maybe you weren’t either – and that is okay. Here are five things I’ve done over the years that seem small but will make a large impact on your life and your confidence:
-
Look Good = Feel Good
This is essential! Girl, if you look a mess, how do you think you’re going to feel?! If I’m in a really cute outfit, my face is beat and my hair is on fleek, I can’t help but to be on cloud nine. There is a very unlikely chance that I would have put so much effort into looking amazing, but actually feel horrible. Not only will you know that you look good, but others will too, and they will probably give you plenty of compliments, making you feel better than you already do.
-
Therapy
A lot of people cringe at the thought of therapy or counseling, because they automatically think that they’re going to be diagnosed as “crazy,” which is a myth that needs to be dispelled. Additionally, therapy isn’t just you talking “at” a therapist and them constantly and annoyingly asking you, “well, why do you feel that way?” I will honestly say, if that’s what’s happening in your place of release where you’re supposed to talk through your issues, you may need to look for a new therapist. If you are looking for a new therapist or looking for someone to talk to, don’t forget to use your resources: we have professional counselors on campus, as well as peer counselors that would love to hear from you. Therapy should be a positive place where you can speak freely about how you feel or don’t feel about yourself, and be able to create positive solutions for those feelings with a professional. That’s what therapy is about.
-
Journal Writing
I think that this is my favorite strategy because I’m a journalist. Anyway, journalist or not, writing is a great form of therapy to relieve stress. Whether you’re a journalism major or a biology major, this’ll help any and every one that’s willing to try it. Get a journal that you and only you will see, and write in it daily. Talk about how you feel, what you’re thinking, how the day went, etc. BUT you have to end every journal entry with something positive, so even if your entire journal entry for the day was negative, it must end on a positive note.
-
Inspirational Notes
Have you ever seen the BET show, Being Mary Jane? If so, then you’ll be familiar with the reference I’m about to make. If not, here it is. Write yourself motivational messages on post-it notes, and stick them everywhere! It could be something as simple as, “don’t give up,” or more elaborate like, “think like a queen. A queen is never afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” –Oprah Winfrey. When you look at your bathroom mirror, dresser, closet or headboard, there can be a piece of inspiration that’ll take you a few seconds to read, and remind yourself how phenomenal you really are. These little notes go a long way – just check my room!
-
New Found Motivation
I know it’s cliché, but one of the truest yet outplayed pieces of advice someone can give is, “let your haters be your motivators.” Realistically speaking, how can one effectively execute this cliché? Well, from personal experience I literally let people who talk down on me, motivate me. Now of course I haven’t always been as confident as I am today, but after I realized that we only have “haters” because they see something in us that they like and don’t have, the tables had turned. It’s easier to laugh in a jealous person’s face than to entertain them or to mope about something they said. Girl, rock your stilettos, coily hair and crop top – the naysayers are just mad that they can’t do it like you, boo! Besides, Rico Richie said it best, “if you ain’t got no haters, you ain’t poppin’.”
I once heard a quote that said, “every flower must grow through dirt,” and you, my friend, are that flower. It was unfortunate that for whatever reason, you had low self-esteem growing up, but that was the dirt filled with seed that were eventually watered, blooming you into the flower that you are today. If you effectively apply these five tips to your everyday life, you will be a force to be reckoned with, and that’s what the new, confident, you should be aiming to be.