Dear Piper,
I’m new to Minnesota. Any tips for surviving the harsh weather??
Sincerely,
Freezing My Ass Off
Dear Freezing My Ass Off,
Let me just say, SAME! I am from Minnesota and every year I ask myself, ´How can I possibly survive this?´ along with ´What did I do to deserve this?´ All misery aside, now is a good time to ask because February is the hardest month of winter. This is not only because it is supposed to be the coldest month but because everyone is wondering when this pain will end and are cursing a mammal for not seeing its shadow.
The first and most important way to thaw your rear is wardrobe. I don´t care how warm anyone´s body runs, I do not want to be seeing crop tops in winter. I don’t care how stylin’ they are. I will compliment you in July. You can get cute winter outfits if you want, but when you are looking at those nice boots remember the slush that you will be walking through. Plus if you don’t take care of your feet, your body temperature will drown faster.
You are going to want to buy boots, coats and gloves (especially if you have a car and are going to be scraping it off) that are water resistant and insulated. You will be toast-ier than a strudel.You can try your luck with peacoats, but I always end up freezing in them especially if I am walking or standing at the bus stop for longer than fifteen minutes.
You’ll also need a hat, but it can be cotton. Pro tip: there are hats that you can get that also have a face mask in them. So when it’s nice out, you can just have the face mask inside of the hat and when you are freezing your ass off, you can pull down the mask and protect your face from the cold, cold air.
If you know you are going to be outside for an extended length of time, make sure you have hand warmers and feet warmers. These can typically be found in any store. Last year, Target had them in their dollar section, but it varies by store. Hand and feet warmers are usually about $3 and I know being a college student we are all on a tight budget. But when you are at the bus stop asking why to a higher power or Celine Dion, you will regret being frugal.
If you are struggling mentally with the Minnesota winters, don’t worry. I do too. Something that helps me is sitting/laying in a heat lamp each morning. This is a good hack for anyone, regardless if you get Seasonal Affective Disorder. You probably don’t have a heat lamp as most college students don’t, even though they are allowed in dorms (it’s space heaters that aren’t).
But what you do/should have is a desk lamp. You can point it at yourself or sit where the light will hit you. Personally, I like to lay down a towel point the lamp at myself and pretend I am on the beach drinking margaritas with J-Lo, but you do you.
If you are still struggling with Minnesota winters just remember what Prince said, “The cold keeps all the bad people out.” While we are freezing our asses off, we are surrounded by the warmest people.
Sincerely,
Patricia Piper