Ever wonder why between the second half of fall semester and the first half of spring semester you don’t see too many “walks of shame”? This phenomenon does not happen because people are hooking up less. I believe that it happens just because some people have become more practical about who they are hooking up with and where they are hooking up with them. During the winter months, some people still want to have sex, but don’t want to walk all the way across campus sometimes. Think about it: would you want to walk across campus in the bitter cold if there were 14 inches of snow on the ground… just for sex? I bet most people would say yes. However, to some extent, they must hate that walk. It’s cold and annoying and the idea of having to walk to G-Road or Bundy or wherever it is that is not in eye distance is just horrible. There are multiple ways people seem to combat this issue. One way is staying the night. Pack a bag full of clothes, whatever else you need, and you are off for a night of sex and cuddling with your partner. Another idea is something that I cleverly like to call the conveniency theory.
The conveniency theory comes into play when you are on the look-out for someone to hook up with and you base this on your location. The idea is that the hook up partner must live within a 2-3 dorm radius of you. This does not mean that your standards have to drop. It is just nice to know that your partner doesn’t live too far away and that you can pop by and see him or her with the greatest of ease for whatever reason. So, in theory, when there are 14 inches of snow on the ground, having your hook-up partner live close to you is just convenient. In addition, your chance of avoiding the walk of shame increases. However, if you do have that special someone, then regardless of how far this person lives, then the conveniency theory still works. Instead of going to a dorm room, you find creative places on campus for hooking up- a place that is convenient for the two of you.
This part of the theory led me to ask members of the student body where they would want to hookup on campus. Their responses are listed below:
1) I want to hookup in the library, third floor, during finals or midterm week
2) The glen, or the fireplace lounge.
3) In the classrooms where I have class, in the spot where annoying kids sit, that way every time I look at them I will just smile and laugh
4) Wellin Museum
5) Meditation room, the meditation platforms/pillows would be the best
6) Kirkland Cottage
7) Anywhere in the libary
8) Third floor Sadove
9) Greenhouse in the science center
10) Locker room
11) On the high dive
12) Basketball court emblem
13) Hamilton map (when the weather is good)
14) 3rd floor of the Science Center
15) A booth in McEwen