By now, every GW collegiette knows what a “betch” is, and you probably have betcheslovethis.com bookmarked on your laptop for at least 2 years. That article they wrote about GW and our greek life? So true or so not true, depending on who you talk to. Another facet of the website is “Ask a Head Pro”, the hilariously blunt male mouth piece of the Betches. Here is a Q&A with the Head Pro himself.
Q: What is your name?
A: Well, I can’t really tell you my name, since that’s kind of the point of being anonymous. Yeah, a few people here and there know who I am, but in general it’s still important that I stay a secret, at least for the time being. It’s not that I don’t want to give you info, but in this line of work, it’s advantageous to both me and the readers to keep as much mystery as possible. The reason I don’t look girls up on Facebook is because I don’t want anything I could find out about them (looks, school, etc.) to color my analysis. Likewise, I don’t want people to discredit my writing because they don’t like my looks, where I went to school, my name or whatever. The Betches are publicly known because they wrote a book, so they’re considered “credible.” Until I do that (soon, maybe? We’re working on it) everyone involved is better off with them imagining me however they see fit.
Q: How did you get involved with writing for Betches Love This? Is it just something you do in free time in addition to another career?
A: Someone, I don’t remember who, turned me on to the site early-on, so I was a fan. When they put out a call for a guy writer, I jumped at the chance and applied. I’m sure my competition numbered in the tens, maybe even dozens, so it was very satisfying. In addition to BLT I write elsewhere on the internet, and work full-time as both a disposable razor repairman and a freelance pet euthanizer.
Q. What is the “head pro” column all about?
A: Well, “Ask a Pro” is I guess my flagship column, and it’s pretty straightforward, “Dear Abby”-style advice, usually about dating. I also do “Sexts and Subtext” (similar, but girls send in screenshots of their text conversations) and “Online Dating and Fellating” (also similar, but with screen caps of ridiculous online dating messages). I also write “PROpinions,” which are longer-form pieces where I cover a topic I feel deserves more attention than I can provide in an email response.
Q: Is the advice you give based off experience?
A: For the most part, the advice is experiential. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I have had sex with a woman before, at least once. I’m also probably a little older than most of the readers, so I’ve been around and seen more in my life. A lot of it is also common sense. Since, you know, it’s not me who Jacob is taking too long to respond to, or me who Brad slept with and hasn’t texted since, it’s easier to be objective. I also try to keep a running theme of accountability. People in their teens and 20’s tend to believe that if they just go through the motions and follow the rules, things will somehow magically work out for them and people will hand them things. Life doesn’t work that way, though. If you want things to change in your personal life, it’s up to you to make that happen.
Q: Yes, your column is straightforward “Dear Abby” style, but wouldn’t you agree that it is not like any other dating advice column in terms of how brutally honest and harsh it is? Obviously a girl’s best friend is not going to say to her, “you need to stop being a nameless jersey chasing fuckstick.”
A: I never really thought about it, but yeah I guess my approach is more direct than other dating columnists (to be fair, I didn’t actually call the girl a nameless jersey chasing fuckstick, I just told her not to be one). Every once in a while, it gets some pushback from the readers because people in general don’t like getting torn down like I do to them sometimes, to which I say “fuck that.” It comes down to the accountability I mentioned earlier. People our age have been told from birth that they’re special, smart, and can be anything they want to be. I’m all for raising people to believe in themselves and what they can accomplish, but the downside of that is what you see now, people walking around (or writing into anonymous advice columns) thinking that their situations are somehow unique or exceptions to the rule. As an example, I just got an email from a girl with the subject line “what the hell is wrong with this guy?” I’ll give you a hint as to the answer: it’s nothing.
So yeah, I usually elect to give people some harsh reality. Other columns, as far as I can tell, are a lot more accommodating, or no more useful than a friend who’ll just tell you that the guy’s a jerk and that you can do better. That, to me, is more of the same Richard Simmons, “you can do it!” bullshit. I’d rather give an objective, male perspective that conveys what any reasonable person would say to them if there were no consequences. Sometimes that manifests itself in knocking the person down a peg, but others it’s about telling them to sack up and take control if they don’t like the way things are going. Of course, I pepper in a lot of humor and hyperbole for entertainment purposes, but that’s because 99% of the people reading are not the person who asked the question. I may alienate a reader or two every so often, but I’ve never had a question-asker who was dissatisfied with my advice. If anything, sometimes they write back to thank me.
Q: In your opinion, what is the website, in general, all about?
A: The site’s really undergone a lot of changes since I first joined. It started out as “The Betch List,” which, yes, was satirical. Since then, it’s kind of become a force of it’s own, almost its own brand of feminism. I’m not, in any way, shape or form any kind of expert on the subject, but one element of modern feminism was/is the freedom to wield your sexuality as a blunt instrument if you so choose. In contrast, one theme at BLT is the idea that instead, sexuality (among other aspects of your personality) can be used as a very precise tool for getting ahead in life. Aside from that, in general it’s kind of unique in that it’s a site for your average younger woman, as opposed to specialty sites like Jezebel (can get super feminist-y) or Cosmo (best left to girls with double-digit IQs). Plus, all of us that write here are way funnier and better looking than writers at other sites.
Q: Do you think it should only be meant as satire? Do you think it is bad for girls to take the advice on the site too seriously?
A: Like I said, the site’s way more than just satirical list items nowadays. With the direct advice, I know the girls and I both tend to stick to the task at hand and avoid being overly satirical. For instance, I’d never, not even jokingly, suggest that someone jump off a bridge because a guy won’t text her back. That said, as with any website, it’s as much for entertainment purposes as any other, so it’s obviously not meant to be a genuine guide for living your life. I mean, if you’re looking for one of those on the internet, you probably have way more issues than we could ever begin to solve, anyway.