When I picked my phone up off the ground last week and saw that the entire screen was shattered beyond repair, I had two thoughts running through my head. The first one being: I’m a broke student who can’t afford a brand-new phone right now. Shockingly, the second one was: I’m going to lose all of my Snapchat streaks if I don’t get this replaced by tomorrow.
The first thought was typical of anyone who had broken a phone before. Who actually enjoys unexpectedly having to pay hundreds of dollars for something they don’t even want? The second thought, however, was completely irrational. I had just destroyed my phone – my only way of contacting my parents, my only method of checking the bus routes to get home, my favourite source of procrastination during exam season – and one of my biggest concerns was losing a tiny number beside a friend’s name that nobody else could see. What?
I’ve never considered myself as addicted to social media as everyone loves to portray millennials to be. I’m not obsessed with my follower ratio, I haven’t posted a selfie since high school, and I don’t repost pictures and claim it’s because “I have no idea how it got deleted!” when I don’t get enough likes the first time around (side note: can we all agree to stop doing this in 2018?). But, like most people, I often find myself mindlessly scrolling through social media apps for hours at a time. I’ll sit down to study and then somehow find myself 20 weeks deep on the Instagram of a classmate’s friend’s cousin because I thought her outfit was nice and wanted to see what else she posted. When I wake up, my first instinct is to grab my phone and check Instagram – not because I actually care about what some girl I followed at a party 6 months ago was posting while I was sleeping, but because my peers have taught me to believe that keeping up with what’s relevant is important.
Social media isn’t everything, but I have to admit that it plays an important role in my life. I taught my mom how to use Snapchat and now she sends me a picture every morning while I’m away at school. My grandparents are learning how to use Facebook and now I can speak to them whenever I want. While I envy my friends that can delete all of their social media apps every exam season to stay focused, I just don’t feel like it’s necessary for me. When I had no phone for a week, I didn’t become more focused, I didn’t improve my self-esteem, and I didn’t become any happier – I just found new ways to distract myself. While I agree that it’s good to unplug every once in a while, I don’t see how cutting off contact with my family and friends will instantly solve all of my problems.
Breaking my phone made me realize that social media can only control your life if you allow it to. The number of likes you get on an Instagram picture does not represent your popularity, it represents the number of followers who were online when you posted it. A Snapchat streak does not define your level of friendship with someone, it defines how many days in a row you were bored enough to open the app and send the exact same selfie to all of your friends. These numbers only hold value when we believe they do.
I think it’s too simple to blame social media for all of our problems. It’s easy to say that social media damages our self-esteem, but this is not magically fixed by simply turning off our devices. We have been comparing ourselves to other people long before Instagram or Facebook ever existed. These apps only make it easier and available for us to do so.
If “unplugging” improves your happiness or helps you to stay focused, then go ahead and do it – but if you don’t already love yourself beforehand, don’t be surprised if the effects only last temporarily.