For all of us, winning is important. To win feels like a validation of all the efforts that we put in. It strengthens confidence, supports our goals and vindicates our interests in our endeavor. In fact, for some, winning is all there is but it’s through no fault of our own. Our culture revolves around it. All the best movies show an eventually triumphant underdog. Most of the fairy tales we’re told as children end up in a victory for the main character. But this is reality and where you find a winner, there must be a loser. But what happens when you’re that loser? Now, everyone likes a “happily ever after,” but what if there is more to losing than what others previously told you?
Our culture emphasizes that winning is best and not to win is shameful. It is so shameful to lose that in fact, children are told “not to be sore losers” and to be resilient. However, there is more to a defeat than just the shame and embarrassment. To be honest, a loss might be more inspiring to a person than a win.
(Photo via Just Jared)
In loss, there is humility, an opportunity to learn and reassess and finally, a break to begin again. There is value in loss. A defeat is the time to critically assess work and performance. It might help in the your judgement and overall perception of the work without the previous emotional attachment or stress of a competition. There is time to ask critical questions about your performance and not have your emotions obstruct the real view of your work. It’s time to explore different approaches to your creation. Winning sometimes reinforces that there is no room for improvement. We’ve all heard the cliches “Don’t mess with perfection” and “Don’t try to fix something that isn’t broken”. This flawed thinking can make someone get complacent quickly and create stagnancy in a person’s work.
Losing can also be a humbling experience. At times, constant victories can sometimes make a person feel infallible (cough, cough: Ronda Rousey). Not a single person walking is perfect or has a completely flawless execution every time they compete. It is important to remember that victories are not guaranteed. No one is guaranteed anything, no matter how hard they work, no matter innovative their ideas are and no matter how knowledgeable they might be. A loss can quickly bring you back down to Earth but humility can and will force you to not underestimate your opponent or overestimate your own ability.
Finally, losses symbolize a new beginning and encourage growth. After all the critical assessments, sometimes all there is left to do is face the music that there is probably more to your art or skills that you are ignoring or not exploring to your fullest potential. It could change the approach or style for the project. Losses disrupt comfort zones. Let this disruption be productive and transformative by letting it change the work that you do and present.
There are many smart people. There are hardworking people. There are kind people, passionate people, creative people. All these people look forward to recognition for their talent, for contributions. But even they can watch a triumph they thought was their own go to someone else. A loss can sometimes is a win in disguise.
The most talented people have suffered losses. From Dr. Seuss to Babe Ruth, the biggest winners were also the biggest losers at a point. Even the great Beyonce learned a very good lesson on losing once on Star Search, one she echoed on her self titled album: You are never too talented to lose.
Winning is great and all but it is by far not the most important thing. In fact, a loss could be more valuable to your growth than a win. It could be more transformative and teach you more about yourself than a victory. The things a loss can teach you is perhaps exponentially more valuable than the pride of a win. After all, winning isn’t everything.