My mother has come to accept that I am not going to bear her any grandchildren.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/7zF3biR7j50eQ.gif
The subject of maternity is hard for women to escape; as early as elementary school I remember being asked how many children I wanted to have when I grew up and what I would name them. When I was a bit older people asked me to babysit and were surprised at my telling them I wasn’t good with kids. I am asked sometimes how old I’d like to be when I first give birth. I don’t have an answer.
I have never wanted to have kids, and I never plan to, yet the reasoning behind my decision gets easily construed. I’m told that it’s selfish, that it’s lazy, that I’ll never find happiness or gratification otherwise. I’m told that my life will be meaningless. I’m told that I’ll be lonely and disappointed if I don’t put my ovaries to work while they’re still functioning and that I should be grateful for the opportunity to give birth, as some women would give anything to be able to bear a child. Some even go as far to assume that I don’t respect motherhood, which is prominently false. I respect the hell out of mothers, particularly my own who has always put my brother and me first. I respect that, but I don’t want it.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/xDQ3Oql1BN54c.gif
I intend to discover fulfillment in my life without having children by joining the Peace Corps, adopting dogs, volunteering, and working to serve other people. Is it selfish of me, I ask, to dedicate my life to helping animals? Is it selfish of me to take the time normally allotted for caring for an infant and use it to work at a refugee center? Would it be selfish of me to help other people, strangers, improve their lives through yoga? I think not.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/qGCKbJgVMetri.gif
So consider that the next time someone tells you, “You’ll realize sooner or later that you want to be a mother” or “You’ll be spending all those years unfulfilled.” Not every woman is meant for motherhood, and not every man is meant for fatherhood (and not every person is meant to fit into a binary gender). I’ll be doing what’s right for me, and I don’t find that selfish at all.
Source: http://i.giphy.com/q85HM9TcDkc12.gif
In the meantime, my mother can hope for grandchildren from my brother’s side of the family.