1. Vegans need to tell everyone that they’re vegan.
Hey, I’m your vegan friend. I only mentioned it because you’re cooking dinner and you’d be more mad if I only ate the green beans? Sorry to bother you.
2. What do you even eat?
Have you ever eaten an apple? Yep, you’ve had vegan food.
3. You need to start eating right.
Remember the food pyramid? We hit those levels too!
4. PROTEIN.
We get protein. Foods that aren’t meat can have protein. Yes, we do our research.
5. Oh, you eat that fake stuff….
Not all vegans eat it, but if you want to eat veggie burgers or “fake” hot dogs, go ahead! There’s this magical thing called a balanced diet, you should try it sometime.
6. My cousin/uncle/friend/ex/uncle’s cousin’s brother’s friend got sick from not eating meat.
Sorry they had to go through that. But, believe it or not, humans differ!
7. This isn’t healthy.
Are you my doctor? My nutritionist? Have I told you “I haven’t checked with my doctor about my vegan lifestyle!” No? Then you can keep your opinion internalized, thanks.
7b. And the converse: You must eat so healthfully!
*raises eyebrows*
8. You used to eat ________.
I also used to wear diapers—people change, who knew?
9. Oh, I tried that once!
That one week you lived on leftover spaghetti doesn’t really count, sorry.
10. Don’t you miss steak/chicken parm/burgers/pizza??
Personally, nope. If I suddenly think I do, there are plenty of substitutes (fun fact, many many things that *contain* animal products [I’m looking at you, baked goods] are almost easier to do without). And if I do? Still my choice, k?
11. Are you STILL vegan…?
….yep.
12. What if you were on a deserted island and had to hunt for food?
An island filled with plants and fruits? The horror!
13. Can’t you take a joke?
We love jokes, actually! Just don’t attack our life choices to make them.
People go vegan for all sorts of reasons—allergies, their health, and yes, animals and moral reasons (the horror!). Contrary to popular belief, not all vegans will jump down your throat for ordering a cheeseburger. Please don’t lecture us for not doing the same.
And if all else fails? We can eat the batter :)