The most important thing to know is that the time to have sex is whenever you feel ready. That being said, it helps to be prepared. Your first time is a nerve wracking experience, but rest assured that it’s like that for everyone. Here’s 8 things to keep in mind before you lose the big V.
1. Having sex won’t save a failing relationship.
If things aren’t going well with your significant other, sex isn’t going to fix it. Let sex be a fun way to be close to someone you love, not a last resort to save a sinking ship.
2. You should use protection, no matter how long you’ve been together.
No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, it’s a good idea to use a condom to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STD’s. It’s amazing to trust each other, but even more amazing to practice safe sex.
3. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal.
YA books and movies make it easy to feel like losing your virginity should be some kind of transformative experience, but it doesn’t have to be. For some women, carrying their virginity around is more stressful than losing it. For others, it’s something they want to save for a lifelong partner. The best thing you can do is lose your virginity when you feel ready with the right person.
4. It might hurt…but it might not.
Sex feels different for everyone. Some women experience pain their first time during penetrative sex, but others say their first time felt amazing. Communicate with your partner always, but especially during your first time. There’s no shame in asking them to slow down or stop altogether. And if your pain is crippling or unbearable, it’s a good idea to see your doctor.
Related: A Letter To My Vagina
5. It will be awkward.
If you lost your virginity and it was perfectly wonderful and romantic, then please slide into my Instagram DM’s. As for most of us, losing your virginity can actually be a little awkward. It can be tricky to fall into the rhythm of things, especially if it’s your partner’s first time as well. It’s important to communicate beforehand about your wants and comfort levels.
6. You should really pee afterwards.
UTI’s are no joke, and they’re way more common in women than in men (ugh). According to Mayo Clinic, women have a shorter urethra than men, giving bacteria a shorter trek and a higher chance of reaching a female bladder than a man’s (ugh–equality, don’t get me started). The good news is, peeing after sex is a great way to flush bacteria out of the urethra, and a great time to freshen up before post sex cuddles.
Related: 6 Types of Guys I Dated in 2017
7. It won’t change your life.
After my first time, I thought it was basically written all over my face that I’d done the deed. It’s easy to build sex up in your head, but you probably won’t feel any different once your first time is over. You’ll look the same, feel the same and no one else will be able to tell.
8. It will take a while for sex to feel good.
For many women, orgasm can’t be achieved through penetrative sex alone. Get to know your body and what you like so you know what to ask for in bed. According to the Daily Mail, women enjoy sex the most once they reach their mid forties, so don’t panic if your first time is less than average pleasure-wise.
Be honest with yourself and your partner about being ready and everything will fall into place.