This past weekend, my friends invited me to accompany them to a fraternity social gathering (more commonly known as “frat party”). I had not attended one of these festivities since my wild days of staying up past 10 p.m. as a mere freshman. I look back on these days now with envy. How I wish to be 18 again, full of life and the energy to go out and socialize on the weekends. But here I am, a junior in college, filled with enough cynicism to be a senior in life. I took my friends up on this offer as a chance to relive my glory days, however my experience was not as glamorous as I initially remembered.
When we first arrived at the steps of the dimly lit house of delta theta kappa alpha gamma (I think that’s what it was), the smell of cheap beer and sweat was overwhelming. As we ventured further into the house, the smell only grew worse. We were directed to a “bar” (which was just a corner closed in with tables that housed water coolers and other beverages). I was handed a red solo cup filled with a mysterious substance they called “jungle juice.” Before taking a sip, I asked others around me what is contained in said jungle juice, but no one seemed to have the recipe. What was contained in the cup is still a mystery to me and the other attendees of the gathering. I took a sip of the brightly colored drink, and to my surprise found it contained cheap liquor. I immediately put it down because I am under the legal age to consume alcohol and, of course, was not going to break the law in someone else’s home. I assumed there was a mix up, and they did not mean to serve me an alcoholic beverage.
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From there, we went to the “dance floor”. This was code for the basement, where they just pushed aside all the furniture and had very loud music playing. The space was small, so everyone was packed tightly together, only making the temperature rise faster. My time on the dance floor was limited, as I needed to take frequent trips to accompany friends to the bathroom. I watched as girls danced in the middle of the floor to the songs with the same beat as the brothers of alpha chi gamma epsilon pi stood closely behind them, as if waiting for some kind of social signal to join in. This was pattern was interrupted only when the song “Stacy’s Mom” played, causing all the girls to scream in high pitched, synchronized tones, followed by yelling along the lyrics to the song.
The magnitude of the high pitched frequency made it obvious how many girls were present at this social gathering. There was a very high ratio of girls to guys at this event. I thought it was odd that an organization so focused on brotherhood would invite so many girls to their events. They also seemed to be paying a lot more attention to the girls than their fellow brothers.
Related: 18 Thoughts Every Girl Has at a Frat Party
I did engage in small talk with some of the males in attendance. Each seemed very fascinated in what I had to say. I’m sure that they all really cared about my major as much as they made it seem. What other ulterior motive would they have in trying to form a connection with me? While they were all very friendly, I did have some awkward encounters with a few of them. Multiple times strangers came up from behind me and grabbed my waist and pulled me towards them. It must have been so dark that they confused me with their significant others! I wondered why it kept happening so many times though. You would think they would engage in conversation with me, or even just look at my face, before engaging in such an intimate act with me without my consent. It seems that they all found their girlfriends eventually, because they each had a girl dancing with them by the end of the night.
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It was nearing 11:30 p.m., hours past my bedtime. I wondered why my freshman year self frequented these establishments so often. I was tired, covered in spilled drinks, other people’s sweat and shame. Just as my thoughts began to spiral into an existential crisis, I was interrupted when a guy approached me and my friend to request that we engage in a threesome with him. I knew it was time to go home.
I left the delta gamma chi lambda psi house with less dignity and more shame in humanity, exactly how I left similar fraternity social gatherings as a freshman. I guess some things never change.