I know what you’re thinking. This snowflake is going to take a jolly old man that everyone loves and compare him to the human cheeto we call a President. While you may think I’ve gone all toy soldier against Christmas and America, hear me out. I’m just arguing that our current conception of Santa is as much a product of our society as our President is. But before you call me the Grinch, just consider some of the similarities they have.
1. Their Diet
Let’s start with the truth of the matter. They’re both lazy at heart. When asked about diet and fitness, Donald Trump reported that “exercise is a misbelief”, arguing that a person “just like a battery is born with finite amount of energy.” On the campaign trail his planners explained his diet consists of “whatever he is craving, which is more often than not McDonalds.” Doesn’t seem too far from the milk and cookies loving guy in a red jumpsuit, does it?Via Newsweek
2. Lazy, Exploitative Agendas
Now let’s be clear. I’m not talking about the St. Nick who was the patron of women and the impoverished. I’m referencing the Santa whose very reputation quickly starved the market of Elsa dolls and other in-demand toys just last year. This imitates the boastful remarks heard religiously by none other than Mr. Trump. Similarly, today’s notion of Santa totally overlooks the entire concept of labor. I mean, if Mrs. Clause does the cooking and cleaning, elves make the toys and reindeers are in charge of the travel…what does Santa actually do (other than eat and take the credit)? I’m pretty sure that’s Trump’s mantra. Oh yeah, and Santa’s workshop? We all know the elves are criminally underpaid staff he’s exploiting. We see through the myth of satisfied labor. If anything, Santa’s workshop in the North Pole was a strategic move to relocate for tax purposes. We learned that in the Art of the Deal. I bet Santa has a signed copy on his desk. Trump and Santa clearly have no problem conjuring up a false image of satisfied labor.
Related: Why Trump is the Regina George of Presidents
3. Spontaneous Generation of Wealth and the Myth of Equity and Justice
Again, both Santa and Trump have a great deal in common as they proclaim attitudes that recommend a spontaneous generation of wealth. Make America Great Again, right? The Santa myth suggests that all you have to do is go to sleep and presents will appear. Unfortunately the reality is that the dispossessed poor have money skimmed off their labor. It sounds a lot like when Trump convinced an entire population they’d see immense wealth in a matter of no time by simply voting for him.Via Ebay
4. Watches You
He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good and he’ll probably tweet about it later today. Not only does this line sound like
the NSA’s motto, but it also gives some pretty creepy vibes to it. It really makes you wonder why Santa is allowed anywhere near our Christmas stockings.
Via PBS
Related: What You Need to Know About Immigration
5. Bring Back Christmas
Finally, they both want to bring back Christmas when the truth is that Christmas has been gone for a long time. Instead of talking about the war on women, immigrants, voters, minorities, healthcare, education and the poor, we pretend to be upset over the mere inclusivity of the term “happy holidays.”
Christmas is a consumer-based holiday. For Trump, there isn’t a single wise man in his life, much less three. Plus, it’s not like we’re opening the inn to a family of Middle Easterners since…they’ve been banned.Via etsystatic.com
All that being said, maybe Santa and Trump aren’t so dissimilar. I mean what screams white, creepy, fat man who hires unskilled labor more than the president of our country? What says “white Christmas” more than our body of Congress?
The truth of the matter is that our current idea of Santa is a reflection of our society as much as our President. So before you judge kids for believing in Santa…just remember that a good portion of America thought Trump would make a good presidential candidate.