“Realize that this is a part of something bigger than just now. It is one of the many ingredients going into your future.”
Letting go. It’s tough, no matter the situation. Whether it be a friend, ex, or personal possession, getting rid of something memorable can cause an unbearable pain. We become so comfortable with our everyday routine, that letting go seems to throw us out of whack. If we let him go, the last year was for nothing. If we let go of our best friend who wants nothing to do with us, we throw away all the good times. However, this is not true.
Letting go is the first part in adding to our past. You were still you before that boy or that friend. There will be other boys and there will be other friends. Soon, those who are breaking your heart will simply become a memory that you learned from.
If I’ve learned anything from past relationships, it’s that I have taken something away from each of them. I realized what I did and could have done better, and I am going to take that into my next friendship or relationship. It is like the saying “practice makes perfect.” Obviously, no relationship is going to be perfect, but the more we learn about ourselves, the more prepared we can be going into our next relationship.
One of my favorite authors Lysa TerKeurst in her book Uninvited gives reassurance as to what will become of letting go: “stabbing moments turn into days turn into weeks turn into enough time for this to slowly move from reality to a memory to a place called my past.”. This may hurt now, but it won’t forever. The best thing one can do to move on is to really let go. Delete her number. Put his pictures away. Realize that this is a part of something bigger than just now. It is one of the many ingredients going into your future.
As someone who personally enjoys normal, and hates change, letting go is not easy; never will be. Going from having someone in your life every day, to avoiding them at all costs is bizarre. But life isn’t comfortable. Change happens. Things one cannot comprehend will occur. Through it, one needs to understand who one is. Are you the type of person who finds identity in relationships? The job you want? If your answer is yes, that’s okay. Most are. But what are you going to do when that thing falls through? The things of this world are temporary, but your identity is crucial to the makeup of who you are.
Let go of that boy. Free yourself from that addiction. Realize your friendship is over, and move on. This world is full of rollercoasters, but the way in which one approaches these situations will determine the person one will become. Learn from your past, don’t dwell on it. Forgive and forget. Don’t hate, but show grace. The sooner you let go, the sooner you get to becoming the person you are destined to be, and she is something beautiful.