Since the beginning of my time in college, I had this idea in my mind that my ultimate goal was finding a relationship.
I had always thought that everyone met their husbands in college, so I figured that that is what I had to somehow accomplish, all while keeping up my grades, my social life, and my health. Every class I had, every place I went, I wondered, “am I going to meet him here?” I felt like I was constantly daydreaming that I would magically bump into this beautiful boy, somehow start dating him, fall in love and live happily ever after. As time went on and I entered my junior year of college still single, I honestly felt hopeless. I felt like a failure. I wondered if I would ever find the perfect guy that I thought I was supposed to find. I believed that I graduated college without a boy to bring home to my family, they would be disappointed in me, or my life would be off track, I’d never get married, etc.
Until just a few weeks ago I had this mindset. But over time, I have thought long and hard about the societal expectation of finding love in college. I realized that my time spent in college I should be focused on myself, not a significant other. These four (or more) years should be my time to be selfish; to work nonstop toward my goals, to do my best in school, to treat my body with care, to spend time with my friends doing the things that I enjoy. My sole focus as a college student should not be to find a boyfriend or a husband. I have decided to focus on myself and what makes me happy. If a relationship happens along the way, then so be it, but my purpose in college and in life is not to find a man. It is to be my happiest self, to do the best that I can, to love others, and most importantly, to love myself.
I have learned to look in the mirror and love every inch of myself, including what’s on the inside. The fact that I am nearing twenty-one years of age and I am still (happily) single no longer makes me sad, or makes me wonder why I have not found love yet. I am a beautiful, kind, caring, smart, funny, ambitious young woman and I do not need love to feel good in life. Falling in love with myself has allowed me to discover who I am as a person.
So, if you are anything like me and are currently obsessed with finding love in college, save yourself the worry and self-doubt. Falling in love with yourself will allow you to focus on what it is that will make you become the best version of yourself. Yes, love and relationships are a wonderful thing! But do not let the unnecessary desire for love get in the way of living your life the way that makes you happy.