*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Welcome to the latest in relationships, sex, love and dating. Introducing, “The Scoop with Szmuc” (Smook) and no, that’s not pronounced schmuck. Every week we’re giving our readers an opportunity to send in their questions to Her Campus FSU staff writer and relationship guru Sharon Szmuc relating to the theme of the week. This week, Sharon enlisted the help of Lauren Pleasants to discuss those “what are we” “where is this going” scenarios because often in the hook up culture: it’s complicated.
He likes you, he likes you not. He texts you one day and the other he ignores you and plays games. One day he wants you over at 2 a.m. and the other he just wants to play basketball with his buddies. Sometimes you even wonder if you are the only girl he hits up for fro-yo. Stop worrying, they may be f**kboys, but only because we allow them to be. Whether you’re in a sticky situation or not, no worries, we’re here to help you out of it!
Victoria L.,* 20
What happens when you are just f**king around, but you start to catch feelings? I am not really sure what he is thinking, but I can’t see an actual future with the guy. What we want out of life doesn’t align, yet I can’t help but have feelings when we are together.
Alright Victoria,
Here’s the thing: a lot of people in college think that everything has to be so serious, but it really doesn’t. Have fun (and you know what kind of fun I mean). You’re allowed to catch the feels for someone that you don’t see a future with. He doesn’t have to be your knight in shining armor that we all think we just have to have because life is surely not like a Disney movie—it’s more like a drama series on the CW where everyone gets with each other. And, here’s the thing, he might surprise you! Sometimes things work out in ways you never expected, but for now just go with the flow and enjoy yourself!
If you start feeling like you want something more, then feel free to break it off, but if you’re having a good time with him then there’s no reason to cut it off just because you don’t see a future there. The best lessons and sometimes the best hook-ups happen from people we aren’t even going to marry, we’re only 21, who knows who we’ll be walking done the aisle with, let alone what we are wearing to Tabu on Friday night. Everyone thinks that dating in college is an inevitable road to a lifetime of marriage, five kids, three dogs and two cats. It’s not. Use this time to see what you like and what you absolutely hate. You enjoy hanging out with this guy and just doing whatever the f*ck you want? DO IT! (Or him). Don’t look too much into it, that’s where things really start to go haywire. So just relax, kick back and enjoy your time together.
–Lauren Pleasants
Chelsey C.,* 21
I am currently hooking up with a guy my friend used to hook up with. I have been keeping it low-key, but it’s very annoying. What should I do? SOS.
Chelsey,
Buddy, you definitely have yourself in a bit of a pickle, but there are definitely ways out of this. First of all, just try talking to your friend. It’s not like they dated or had marriage plans together, they just hooked up. Tell them what’s going on and I’m sure it’ll be fine. If it’s not, then you might have to choose between sex with him and friendship with them.
But here’s the big kicker for me. A lot of people think that once they’ve had anything to do with a person, that person is forever and always T. Swift off limits, but that shouldn’t be the case. People don’t have any kind of ownership over those they’ve dated. Now, if your friend dated this kid and it was super serious and they broke up recently, then yes. That is hella off limits. Just don’t go there unless you want to get beheaded. But they only hooked up. Honestly, your friend will probably just laugh and think it’s really funny. And if they don’t? Then they might need to take the stick out of their a** and let you live your damn life.
–Lauren Pleasants
For next week’s theme, First Dates, Sharon will be answering questions on everything you need to know about first dates, what to wear, how to act, where to go, what moves to make and whether the first date will lead to a second date.
Whatever the case may be, submit your questions to hercampusfsu1@gmail.com stating your first name, last name, first initial and age by midnight this Thursday, Feb. 11. If you would like to be published anonymously, we can do that as well. Just ask when you submit! The first three people to submit questions will receive a free beauty product, which may come in handy to seduce the guy you met at Coliseum last weekend! Remember, girls and guys are encouraged to send in questions, so stop swiping right and ask away!
*Names have been changed to protect identity.