Going to the Same College as Your Brother?

Many girls around our FSU's campus believe that having an older brother at the same college is “weird.” They think this is “weird” because they can’t imagine being in that situation. Even if one has grown up with an older brother going to the same elementary, middle, and high school, college is a different ball game. When one goes from high school to college, especially if one is going away from home, the same rules don’t apply. It’s as if entering a new world of constant challenging changes, demands, opportunities, risks, studying, hard work, meeting new people, discovering one’s self, and possibly, having the best time of your life. Many students constantly go through different thoughts about college, whether they say, “I love college or I hate college,” while enduring the many obstacles thrown their way. Imagine having an older brother with you almost every step of the way, possibly even living with him. It may be fun, challenging, not so fun at times, or maybe even like having a third parent watching your every move. Regardless, it is what it is and the only way to find out what it’s like is to live through it. Now ask yourself, “What would college be like if my older brother were here with me?”

When I first decided to go to FSU, I was excited to be going to the same college as my brother who is two years older than me. My brother and I were really close, even though we would have occasional fights. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school, that I started doubting whether I should go to the same college as him or not. Throughout my senior year I would come up and visit my brother many times. I would tour the campus; go to some of his classes with him, and party to see what it was like to be a student at FSU. Every time I would come up to visit him we would have a blast because we never argued since I barely saw him, due to him living six hours away from home. Unfortunately, last year during Super Bowl Weekend, I visited my brother and we got into the biggest fight we’ve ever had. Hurtful things were said and we ended up not talking to each other for months. I drove up to Tallahassee on a Friday afternoon with my older cousin and a friend from school. She was going to stay at her boyfriend’s house, while my cousin and I were going to stay at my brother’s. Excited for what was expected to be an amazing weekend, turned out to be one of the worst weekends in Tallahassee of my life.

We were supposed to arrive at my brother’s house around 8 pm, but we didn’t get there till a couple hours later. This made my brother irritated because it was his friend’s birthday and the party had already started. Not only were we late to the party, but on the way to it, the usual “drinking issue” came up. Before going up to visit him this time, he warned me and said I could come, just as long as I didn’t drink. I told him I wouldn’t and I thought sticking to my word wasn’t going to be a problem. As we arrived at the party my brother’s friends were excited to see me. Of course they were already drinking and urged me to join them, but I didn’t want any problems with my brother so I told them I wasn’t going to drink. They seemed confused about my response and asked me why. I didn’t know what to say so I just told them the truth. I told them that my brother didn’t want me to drink. Little did I know, that by doing this I was about to start a lot of drama. All of the girls immediately rushed over to my brother to ask him why he wasn’t letting me drink. Everyone was making it a big deal, which is why he got angry at me. My brother overreacted and thought that I was trying to make him look bad in front of his friends on purpose, when I truly wasn’t.

Throughout that whole night the tension between my brother and I kept on building up until it finally exploded when we got back to his house. The next day was Saturday and the whole “drinking issue” came up again. I told him I was going to be the Designated Driver (DD) for the night. It was pitch dark outside and the parking spot was small, but I was determined to park the car because that was the only place we could park legally. As I was pulling in to park, the wheel went over the curb a little bit and that’s when my brother once again overreacted. He accused me of being drunk, when I wasn’t and ended up parking the car himself. Once again, when we got to his house that night, he blew up on me.

The fights just kept on getting worse and worse. Sunday was my last day in Tallahassee, which also happened to be Super Bowl Sunday. I was ready to go home because my weekend was just not as great as I thought it would be. Of course my brother and I got into another argument, but this time he took it to another level. Since he assumed that I had been drinking the whole weekend behind his back, he thought it was his duty to tell my parents that I drank. I was not happy about his reaction because he had no right to tell my parents something that wasn’t true. The fact that he did this made me so angry that I stopped talking to him for months. It wasn’t until almost five months later, that I truly realized why he did what he did. My brother loves me and cares for me, and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to his little sister. Being overprotective is just his instinct. I now realize why he told my parents. He did it because he was worried about me and didn’t want me to get carried away into the whole party scene at such a young age. Even though I didn’t have any sort of alcohol problem, he was just being cautious. The only reason the whole “alcohol issue” was even brought up during this trip to Tallahassee was because of what had happened the last time I came to visit.

It was about two months before the Super Bowl when I went to visit my brother with a different cousin who I am really close with. At my brother’s house, one of his friends started talking to me. I didn’t think anything of it and just thought he was being friendly. Little did I know that he was a lot older than I was and had been drinking that night. We were outside just talking about life for a long time. My brother kept on coming outside to check up on me, but every time he came, we were just talking. It wasn’t until we went to a party next door that the drama started. I started talking to my cousin who was convinced that I liked my brother’s friend. I admitted to him that I thought he was cute, but I told him I didn’t like him because I didn’t even know him well enough. He seemed like a nice guy with the intentions of just making a new friend. All of the sudden my cousin got the “brilliant” idea of distracting my brother so that I could have alone time with his friend. I thought it was funny at first and only saw it as a joke. Somehow I ended up outside with the guy in front of the front door of the house. We were just talking when all of the sudden he leaned in to kiss me. At that exact moment, my brother opened the front door to go outside and look for me. His friend immediately pulled away from me so fast, that I thought it was hilarious. Too bad my brother didn’t feel the same way. The first thing my brother says is, “Hey that’s my little sister!” I didn’t know what to do it was really awkward for me. My brother got really upset with me and didn’t believe my side of the story. He blamed me for drinking and making a bad judgment. I didn’t drink that night, but it was the only thing he could really blame it on other than blaming his friend for being a creeper. This fight is what made my brother even more overprotective all the other times I came to visit him after.

Like everything else in this world, there are pro’s and con’s to having your older brother go to the same college as you. The upside is that because he is older and has been on campus longer than you have, he will be able to show you around campus and tell you where places are. Also, he could recommend what classes to take with what professors at what times. He may even give you really good tips on how to deal with everyday needs in college. Not only that, but he will introduce you to a lot of new people. If you have a brother who is in a fraternity, then you get to meet a lot of guys, which brings us to the downside. Most of the problems with having older brothers come from them being over protective of their little sisters. Meeting all of his brothers from his fraternity can cause conflicts because of some unwritten rule. This unfair rule states that all of his frat brothers are off limits to you, his little sister period. Regardless whether you think you are in love, or have just a crush on one of his frat brothers, hooking up with any of his brothers or even talking to any of them, will most likely make him upset. Either way causing drama between brothers isn’t any good for the sake of the fraternity. It’s very comforting to know that I am not the only girl on campus who goes through these types of issues with my older brother. One of my closest friends, Lee also has the same type of fights with her older brother who also goes here. She recently told me that her brother wasn’t ever really overprotective. He was though to an extent. He obviously didn’t like it when guys treated his little sister badly, so that is when he would step in and be overprotective. She told me a story, which pretty much proves the unwritten rule stated above, to be true.

When Lee was a freshman, her brother was in a fraternity here at FSU as a junior. Of course like most brothers do, he would take her out and introduce her to all of his frat brothers. After going out one night, one of the brothers starting talking to her. They became friends and texted each other often. Once Lee got to know him, she started to have a crush on him. Apparently he was very good looking, which made the whole thing more exciting for her. Once her brother found out there was something going on between them, he put a stop to it by talking to his frat brother. Even though we don’t know what exactly was said, things changed between Lee and the guy after that conversation.

Girls, whether you have an older brother who goes to the same college as you, or just have an overprotective guy friend, you can relate to how unfair things may get at times, but that’s life. You can’t always get what you want and it’s ironic how we always want what we can’t have. Recently, I got into a fight with my brother over something insignificant. It was a pretty intense argument. It was so serious that it got to the point where he told me I wasn’t allowed to go to his house, let alone be on his property. This seemed a little too extreme for me, but I had to deal with it. I knew that the only reason he would take things to this extent was because the argument he was making meant a lot to him. I did say some hurtful things just out of anger, but I knew I couldn’t change the past. Just because you realized you messed up doesn’t mean you should give up. The future is in one’s hands, so why not try to fix things? This is exactly why I wrote him a three page letter front and back with a picture of us at the end of it. It wasn’t a letter of apology because I only apologized in one sentence. It was more like a reflection of all of the things we have been through together. I brought up a lot of touchy topics in order to truly talk to him about everything that was on my mind. In person I would have never been able to tell him all of those things because it would just end up turning into another argument. The ironic part of it all is that the night before our fight, I lost my phone. Not having a phone for about four days made me realize that I really can live without my iphone, which I thought I could never live without. What I really learned was that I can’t live without my brother. The funny part of it all, just as some girls may never be able to imagine having their older brother go to the same college as them, I can’t imagine not going to the same college as my brother.