*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Raise your hand if you blasted “I Just Had Sex” by Akon various times after you finally had sex with that guy you’ve been dating for a month and your ninth month spell is over. Raise your hand if you totally did it in the community dorm boy’s bathroom stall at 4 a.m. Raise your hand if you realized a few months later how that was probably the grossest thing you’ve ever done and will never do again. Well, regardless if you did it in doggy, missionary, upside down, sideways, with condom or no condom – here are nine places we all have had sex.
1. His Bedroom
Courtesy: Media Riffsy
Let me guess – his sheets were blue or gray. He had some Kobe Bryant poster on his wall with a bunch of baseball caps attached to the wall and a bunch of university posters to demonstrate that he is the biggest football fan of university ABC. His sheets smelled like a mix of Old Spice deodorant and Tommy Hilfiger’s cologne. When you finally went over to his house for Netflix and Chill you weren’t at all surprised that when it was time to have sex, he opened his side drawer and pulled out Bare Skin condoms. Don’t men ever realize that if the box is almost empty we assume they jackoff a lot or have several visitors a month in their bed? On the bright side: he lasted at least 45 minutes and that was way longer than your ex ever lasted.
2. Your Apartment Couch
Courtesy: Pop Sugar
Your roommate and you have a bet that whoever f*cks on the living room couch first has to buy the other one a round of tequila shots. So when your roommate goes away for the weekend, you f*ck your neighbor on the couch. Midway through the hook up session you realize how many other people have leased that apartment and could have possibly thrown up on that couch, spilled wine on that couch or better yet, also f*cked on that couch. You get off your neighbor and leave him with blue balls realizing that you’ll now need those tequila shots your roommate promised.
3. The Beach
Courtesy: Buzzfeed
This is the most bada*s thing you’ve probably ever done, but to think of it isn’t really bada*s. You were just so scared your parents would know that you were sexually active that you avoided bringing home that guy you’ve been seeing from your baby bio class during summer break. So you compromise by getting bit by mosquitos, getting a bunch of sand stuck in places sand should never be, get back pain and end up having no way to clean up the mess he made. After a month of thinking this is the most romantic place you’ll ever have sex, your car gets towed in the beach parking lot and that means you have to explain to your mother why you were at the beach at 2 a.m. You realize it’s time to tell her how sexually active you’ve been.
4. The Shower
Courtesy: Tumblr
It wasn’t comfortable, right? You flooded your bathroom, right? You also can’t even move but are forced to do it in doggy position, right? You got soap stuck in your eye and it stopped being a steamy and romantic sex session as soon as you realize you can’t even open your eyes with all the water hitting your face? Sure, his muscles look hot as he picks you up and holds you up against the bathroom wall – that is until his d*ck can’t even seem to stay in from how difficult it is to hold that position together. Hey Hollywood, next time you make us fantasize about shower sex, make movies have a real life depiction. Also, how does her make up look perfect after that steamy shower hook up?
5. The Backseat of the Car
Courtesy: Tumblr
If you were super talented, you managed to do it the backseat of a Smart Car or Beatle all cramped up. Throwback songs from your middle school days like Blink 182’s “Feeling This” played on the radio and you looked into each other’s eyes and just when you thought he would say “love you” he says, “You’re crushing my balls.” Maybe you lost your virginity in the backseat of your boyfriend’s car while parked behind a closed down Chinese restaurant until a security guard knocked on the window and ruined what was supposed to be the most romantic moment of your life.
6. Your Parent’s Bed
Courtesy: Tumblr
When your parents went away for the weekend did they really think you were going to do as they say? You threw a house party, used their credit card to order twenty large pizzas from Papa Johns and oh, yeah, you also f*cked on their bed. You didn’t even wash the sheets the next day. But to this day, your parents still have no idea about this and you continue to pat yourself on the back for getting away with this dirty deed.
7. The Bathroom Stall of a Bar
Courtesy: Youth Connect
All you know is that his name was Nick, he left you a hickey in the shape of a butterfly and he sent you a text that said, “Had a great night, thanks.” Thanks? Thanks for what? You then start to think of all the things you could have done. You text all your best friends asking if they have your wallet and you figure out that one of them found it in a bathroom stall next to a condom wrapper. You then grow some balls and ask Nick what happened and he tells you that not to worry – you used protection. On the bright side you stalked him on Facebook and realized he’s got nice shinny white teeth and loves puppies.
8. On a Cruise
Courtesy: Panda Whale
The boat swayed back and forth and made doing it in that tiny cruise ship all the better, especially when you were riding him on top. Maybe you woke up and hit your head on the ceiling or maybe you got so sea sick that you couldn’t even climax. On the bright side, you are one step closer to next time joining the mile high club. It is totally acceptable to have sex on a cruise, just remember the walls are thin and the retired senior citizens next door to you enjoying their 50th anniversary can hear you.
9. A Rooftop
Courtesy: Tumblr
We all want Spiderman to climb onto a roof top and give us a kiss. Maybe you studied abroad in Spain and snuck to the top of your apartment complex and f*cked on the concrete floor as a stray cat watched you do the whole thing. You realized after seeing other ripped up condom wrappers around you just how disgusting it is to do it in a place where stray cats probably piss. The romance is over as soon as the sun rises and you realize you have a field trip for your Spanish class to visit some fancy museum in less than an hour.
If you haven’t crossed some of these places off the list, as Nike suggests, JUST DO IT.