*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU (or mine).
As college students we are often too caught up making out with each other, memorizing those Cliff notes and finding ways to pass business calc. We never sit down and think about all the things we should be grateful for. After all, we are the hookup culture so shouldn’t we be thanking Trojan for creating condoms or the Internet for connecting us with other hormonal college students near us? Here are 50 things this Thanksgiving we should be truly grateful for because if you haven’t said it aloud, atleast you thought about it.
1. Wi-Fi because it allows us to accomplish Netflix and Chill
2. Netflix and Chill because nothing gets you going more than streaming the Hunger Games while trying to grab her tits
3. Tinder because she probably would not be coming over for Netflix and Chill if you didn’t swipe right for her picture with a puppy
4. Puppies—because any girl speaks to you at a tailgate if you have a puppy. That four legged thing is more of a chick magnet than that axe you’ve been wearing since middle school
5. Tailgates: the ultimate excuse to day time fade time and eat three hot dogs when drunk
6. Fraternities because they provide the tailgates and those guys are just always f*cking hot
7. Alcohol because how else would you eat some Jell-O shots?
8. Beer because it’s not that fun to funnel liquor
9. Beer Pong—you know you totally thought you looked bada*s impressing that girl with your ball-throwing-into-a-cup skills
10. Flip Cup: when you realize the beer pong line got too long and everyone wanted downs
11. Ring of Fire because beer pong and flip cup aren’t getting you drunk fast enough
12. Red Solo Cups—no other cup serves the purpose for any f*cking tailgate or drinking party as much as this cup. Sorry Starbucks, but our cups are truly the real red cups.
13. Football season: gives us reasons to do all of the above
14. Starbucks—because you wouldn’t survive finals more than double shots of espresso
15. Jimmy Johns at 2 a.m. because they are the only ones who can come that fast
16. When he comes fast – you know because we girls hate the struggle of being down there for too long
17. When she orgasms and you pat yourself in the back thinking you’re the first to have done this to her
18. Condoms—for those of you who are being responsible and using them
19. Our college apartments because our parents do not need to know who we booty call at 2 a.m.
20. When the guy you like actually texts you back, even if it’s at booty call hours
21. iMessage providing read receipts and knowing when he’s ignoring us and the idiot forgets to turn them off
22. iPhones because we all like Facetiming our best friend while we sit on the toilet analyzing text messages
23. Decent Cottonelle toilet paper that we only use at our parent’s house because that sh*t is expensive and without toilet paper we’d all have diseases from those repulsive bar bathrooms
24. Snapchat because it made sexting easier
25. Campus Story because nothing screams “I’m famous” as much as being on your school’s Campus Story
26. Cosmopolitan app being on Snapchat because guys now find themselves attempting to understand the female brain
27. Instagram because we can see how many fitness model photos our crush liked seven minutes ago and it’s the only place we are socially allowed to be basic
28. Filters because they make us all look skinnier in photos and taught us all how to work with bad lighting
29. Pinterest because we don’t know what gifts we would give our littles and what cake to bake our best friend if it weren’t for some basic recipe we could have Googled
30. Google—because we never learned what actually doing research in the library is like and we will never know
31. Sparknotes because we are too busy turning up on a Tuesday to have time to read that novel
32. Drake: He sings the songs we like to f*ck to
33. I guess we can thank Trey Songz too for making songs that set the mood
34. Sex because it’s a great stress reliever (and you know you girls think about it just as much as guys do)
35. Morning sex because the sun doesn’t rise as fast as his boner
36. Amy Schumer because she reminds women that you can be 160 pounds and catch a dick whenever you want
37. Douchebags because without them nice guys would never get a call back
38. Nice guys because this Thanksgiving your mother is expecting you to bring someone home
39. Our mothers because they blessed us with that amazing booty or great tits
40. Our fathers for being there when that a**hole makes us cry
41. Chipotle
42. Guacamole because Chipotle is not Chipotle without it
43. Pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner (don’t forget that ranch sauce)
44. Cheap college town sushi from our small college towns because they come in clutch at 3 a.m.
45. The fact that our winter break is one week longer than high schoolers
46. America for blessing us with Panama City Beach Florida where we look forward to getting f*cked up in every Spring Break
47. Because these four years is the only time in our lives will be able to be drunk for 36 hours straight
48. Because you have a higher chance of getting banded 21 and over at your college bar than anywhere else
49. The fact that we are adults but don’t have all the responsibilities… yet
50. Oh and almost forgot—because of our higher level education provided by our wonderful universities!
So when you sit at the Thanksgiving table with your old fashioned grandmother remember to atleast act like you are sober. If you are sober, then remember you’ll be back in the land of freedom in just a few days where home cooked meals will not be provided. Be grateful for the best four years you probably will not remember. Happy Thanksgiving to all my horny college students out there! Keep streaming and Netflix and Chilling this holiday season!
Courtesy: Fusiondotnet