1. How will I convince my family that I have my life together?
2. Finally, meals that don’t come out of a freezer or a can
3. Thank God for my parents’ liquor
4. And sleeping in every day
5. Kill me if I run into my high school ex(es)
6. Or my high school nemesis
7. Or 99% of the people I went to high school with
8. But I can’t wait to reunite with the 1% that I can stand!
9. If I get asked about my relationship status, I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear
10. And spend quality time with my dog(s)
11. Inevitable food comas are imminent
12. I’m going to save so much money
13. I’ll probably be bored with my hometown by the first hour
14. I can drive my parents’ cars and save on gas
15. Maybe I’ll get to rekindle old flames
16. I need to monitor my language around my family
17. As well as my wardrobe
18. And my morals