Being a virgin in college makes you sometimes feel like a blue shirt at a red shirt convention. Even when the facts and statistics are on your side, the sense that you haven’t fully “experienced college” or become a “full-fledged adult” is always in the back of your mind, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Realistically about 40 percent of entering college students are virgins, but that doesn’t stop the rest of the population from spouting out these phrases when the truth of your lack of sexual experience is released.
“It’s not really a big deal.”
Oh thanks for releasing this information. I guess I should just get trashed this weekend and bring a guy home from the Strip. Thanks for your words of wisdom.
“Wait, you’re a virgin?! Wow!”
I know right, I can barely believe it myself – I’m such a hot commodity *sarcasm.*
“You’re how old again?”
Um, please don’t go there. I might be slightly older than you when you lost it, but my virginity doesn’t have an expiration date. Oh and fun fact, Tina Fey didn’t have her first kiss till she was 28 so I think I’m still good on time.
“Don’t you think your standards are a little too high then?”
Excuse me?! I realize that I might have high standards, but I’m sorry I don’t want to lose my v-card to just anyone. Rudeness.
“What are you waiting for?”
How about for someone that actually deserves it. Is it that too hard to believe?
“You’re such a prude!”
I’m pretty sure I didn’t say that. I’m sorry I have other things to do that isn’t engaging in sexual intercourse, but thanks for the unneeded name calling.
“But you’re so pretty though.”
Thanks for the compliment, but just because a girl is pretty doesn’t mean she’s had sex before.
“Huh? You don’t act like a virgin!”
Well I’m sorry I mislead you with how I was dancing at Tabu, but I didn’t realize virgins and non-virgins had their own separate rule book.
“I bet there are tons of people who’d want to do it with you.”
There might be tons of people that I don’t know who would like to have sex with me, but one of the reasons why I’m still a virgin is because I don’t know them. So thanks for the pep talk, but it’s not very helpful.
“I can help you change that.”
Oh thank you for realizing that I’ve waited my whole life just for you to extend that non-creepy offer to me.
“So what have you done?”
I’m pretty sure that’s up for me to disclosure, but thanks for trying to get in my business.
“You’re missing out.”
Really, I didn’t realize. Please keep your personal opinions to yourself.
“Do you not get urges?”
Yes, I’m not inhuman and I’m pretty sure there are plenty of methods to fulfil them. And just to let you know I’ve heard from plenty of my non-virgins friends that sometimes there even more effective than men.
“So are you a virgin by choice or what?”
No, I never thought that it wouldn’t be my own personal decision to lose my virginity.
“You won’t understand until you’ve lost it.”
Okay I might be a virgin, but that doesn’t mean I’m 100 percent innocent or naïve either. Save your chastising for someone who actually deserves it.
Conclusion: Do what you want with your body and don’t be afraid to wait. Not everyone is actually doing it anyways.