Just the other day I was trekking my way across campus from the parking garage and as I was huffing and puffing my way uphill (shut up), I saw a girl on the sidewalk on the other side of the street trip over a crack and bust a sandal strap mid-step. The look on her face was heart-wrenching, like when Rose let go of Jack and watched him sink into the depths of the Atlantic — true loss. It got me thinking about these kinds of sartorial mishaps that happen to girls all over the world every single day and just how much they suck; such little inconveniences can really ruin your day. So ladies, in the spirit of commiseration, let us come together as one to whine about these travesties listed below.
1. Wearing tights and halfway through the day they’ve slipped down, so until you can get to a bathroom and adjust yourself, you feel like you’re waddling.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
2. Having heels on for a prolonged period of time. Enough said.
I’m so over it.
3. Leaving the house for the day and then realizing way too late that you can see your entire bra through your shirt.
Welp.
4. Putting on a top and accidentally wiping half of your makeup all over the neck and collar as you pull it down over your face.
5. Wearing any variety of sweatpants, leggings, jeggings, or similar tights bottoms and having to be on camel toe and wedgie patrol the entire day.
…And you try to be discrete but it’s not always easy.
6. When the underwire of your bra pokes through the material while you’re wearing it and you have to throw out something you spent $50 on. Not to mention you have a boob injury now.
7. Wearing a skirt or dress on a windy day and hating walking from place to place outside because you’re desperately trying not to flash everyone in a mile radius.
Why is this happening?!
8. …But then holding the ends of your skirt/dress together makes you billow out like Violet Beauregarde after she’s plumped into a blueberry.
Better hope you don’t fly away.
9. Trying to find the perfect pair of jeans but everything is too short, too long, too tight, too loose, too flared…the list goes on. Lest we not forget that weird gap created by the difference of your lower back and butt or when there’s too much fabric in the crotch area and it bunches up awkwardly every time you sit down.
Whatever, pants suck anyway.
10. Wearing low cut shirts and bending over to do something and suddenly you’re flashing your bra, major cleavage, or both. If the cut is wide enough it’s basically a full view of your whole upper body and abdomen. Also, people have definitely noticed.
At least no one saw a nipple? (This time)
11. Button down shirt gaps.
Unacceptable!
12. Walking in the rain in close-toed shoes or flats and having the skin of your feet temporarily dyed the color of said shoes. And if they’re leather, they stay wet for a long time and when you go inside your feet are freezing.
Might as well just stay here for a bit.
13. Getting a few stray hairs stuck inside your shirt or bra and feeling the squirmy tickle all day. Even if you go to the bathroom to try to fix the itch, you probably won’t be able to find the offending hairs and be forced to deal with it and/or assume you’re hallucinating.
14. Strapless bras and dresses that have you adjusting yourself 24/7. This one is equally horrible for smaller chested and busty girls, THERE IS JUST NO WINNING. Who invented these? Let’s not forget about those little pouches of armpit fat that appear. Amazing.
15. Let’s be real though…this is the final and greatest struggle of them all: looking 2hot2handle.
I woke up like this.