A frequent question that many ask me is: how are you doing a long-distance relationship in college? My response is quite simple: trust and respect. Now, I know it isn’t necessarily ideal to be doing a long distance relationship (whether you’re in college or not). It’s not easy by any means, but it’s also not hard. When you look at your relationship in a positive perspective and see all of the benefits that it contributes to you, it’s hard not to be in one because it’s “long-distance.” It’s like the quote from Buddha, “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
I’m not necessarily a sappy person, but when it comes to love, everyone deserves a shot at it or a chance to experience it. I do believe in self-respect and independence. For that reason alone, I feel that relationships should have balance. You can think of it like the concept of the “law of balance.” If something is thrown off then there is no stability. Here are 10 helpful tips to maintain a healthy and balanced long-distance relationship:
1. You should never let your relationship get in the way of your goals. Always support each other in everything that you do. Whether it’s going for a job interview or you hear that they’re learning how to cook (even though you know they don’t know how to cook), support each other.
2. Make your lover your best friend. You should look forward to phone calls with them to tell them about your day or to vent to them about anything and everything.
3. If you’re at this level, always tell each other how much you care or love one another. It’s always nice to hear and why not say it? Is it cheesy? Well, only if you make it.
4. Treat each other right. If both people in the relationship don’t equally contribute something (and I don’t mean of monetary value) then a relationship remains tedious. Send each other letters, small gifts or just anything. A letter gives your significant other something to look forward to and makes the wait of seeing each other not so bad.
5. Plan exciting getaways where you guys meet each other at the mid-way point between the two different places you’re in. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, it can be a simple date at a cool restaurant you guys saw on the Food Network channel.
6. Don’t ever let your friends try to get in the way of your relationship. Although people will tell you that you’re crazy for being in a long-distance relationship, you’re the complete opposite. A relationship is between two people only. Take this quote from James McAvoy, “Distance is a bad excuse for not having a good relationship with somebody. It’s the determination to keep it going or let it fall by the wayside; that’s the real reason that the relationships continue.”
7. Find time in your day to call your loved one. With today’s technology it’s really hard not to talk to your significant other face-to-face. Yes, there will be those nights that you will be really tired and want to go to sleep, but time is everything in a long-distance relationship. A call for even just five minutes will make all the difference. I mean Ryan Gosling even thinks it’s important, so should you.
8. There will be moments in the relationship that will be trying. You’re not going to see eye-to-eye everyday and that’s completely okay. Every relationship isn’t perfect and it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a good relationship. You learn from your mistakes and move on. Long-distance takes work, but a real relationship is a learning experience.
9. Chances are you’re in this relationship because it’s different than any other relationship you’ve been in. Long-distance takes a lot of guts and courage. It’s a learning experience everyday. You each contribute a significant component to the relationship and wouldn’t be who you are today without them. Your lover is the cheerleader of your life, they will always have your back.
10. And, at the end of the day, no matter how far apart you are, you’ll know you’re with them for a reason and couldn’t be any happier to know that you have such a lover in your life.