Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably seen something about Arie Luyendyk, America’s least favorite Bachelor contestant. If you’d like to read about what happened this season, click here. If you’d like to see my personal breakdown of Arie’s (flawed) character, keep on reading – you’re in the right place.
So, to begin, meet Arie.
Mr. Luyen-d*ck was born in the Netherlands and moved to the United States when he was three years old. He followed in his father’s footsteps and became a race car driver, winning two Indy 500’s. He retired from racing and is now a real estate broker in Arizona. After failing to find love on Emily Maynard’s season of the Bachelorette, the 35-year-old returned to Bachelor Nation to find love. Despite the fact that this season belonged to Peter Kraus. Whatever.
The Bachelor’s website prided Arie for being rugged and handsome.
Bachelor viewers, however, found him to be a little mellow and unexciting.
In his defense, he wasn’t really one to toot his own horn. Don’t we all love a modest man?
And don’t even get me started on his choice of dates. For one, he brought a bunch of women into the woods to learn survival skills, including drinking your own pee. Wanna see true enthusiasm and bravery?
(Okay, he didn’t actually drink pee but he let his dates think he did for like three sips…)
I will give him credit for his dates in Europe though, I’d love to sit with him in complete silence and eat pizza, too. I mean, a date with pizza is all I’m really after, anyway.
Before I go any further, I’ve got to admit: I liked Arie. I was supportive of his Les Mis-loving, nervous laughing, gentle existence – UNTIL I FOUND OUT WHAT HE DID. *Spoiler alert ahead* All I can think about how he proposed to the wrong woman on television, aired footage of him dumping her, proposed to another woman on television, and then took credit for Becca’s new Bachelorette-ship. It all ended there for me. Like, seriously, dude. Do you not follow ANY rules? It was bad enough you told two of the contestants you loved them. This is your second go-around on this show, my man! You KNOW this is all just the biggest hot mess of all time. Smh.
#NoRagrets and no empathy, either I guess.
I really hope his relationship with his new fiancee works out, though. Truly. Imagine how cringe-worthy it would be if everything fell apart yet again? After the sh*tstorm he single-handedly created?
Yeah, I know.
But, for now, we’re all expected to sympathize with the guy. Because, after all…
Whatever, Arie, I hope you get stabbed with a thorn from all the roses you’ve been flailing around. Bring on The Bachelorette!