1. Having your voice crack in class. You then feel the need to excessively clear your throat and speak up again just to prove that it was a one time thing…until it’s not.
2. Falling while walking by yourself. Go-to reaction: get up and start laughing, but you feel a wave of panic when you realize there’s no one to laugh with, so you just look insane in the membrane.
3. Making eye contact through the bathroom stall. Do I look away? Do I hold down the stare until they look away? Do I wave? There’s no winning in this situation. Let’s just hope they don’t recognize my shoes.
4. Allowing your professor to call you by the wrong name. Everyone in your class knows you’re not Clarice which makes it ten times more awkward that you continuously let the professor to call you by their incredibly inaccurate pseudonym, but you have no choice other than to roll with it because you didn’t correct them on the first day.
5. Watching someone steal your order at Einstein’s. “Excuse me wait! That’s actually…….*sigh* It’s gone.” And you feel helpless.
6. Blowing your nose in class It’s like the second you pick up that tissue, the overall class volume drops just to make you feel more uncomfortable. Can they notice that I’m blowing my nose to the beat of “Shake It Off”?
7. Getting up an average of five times to get food in the cafeteria and every single time you lock eyes with that one person. You either get a “you go girl” look or a “how can you physically eat that much food in one sitting” look. More often than not it’s the latter…
8. Realizing that the person in the cubicle next to you at the library can hear your music…perfectly. Ways to detect: they keep giving you a look every thirty seconds, you hit them with your incredibly spazzy dance moves, or they get up and leave. Sorry, should I have just offered you a headphone?
9. Having to “look on with someone” when you forget your textbook. Hey girl who sits next to me in class that I’ve never talked to before. Would you mind sitting really, really uncomfortably close to me so that I can use your book? Sorry if I have the sniffles. Hope that doesn’t bother you.
10. Eating alone. Hopefully this isn’t a daily encounter, but even if it’s once in a semester it contains enough awkwardness to last you the year. People see you eating alone and give you the sad eyes, so you think maybe you should try to sit with random people, but don’t. It’s worse. So much worse. Accept the isolation and sing some Taylor Swift in your head (or out loud if you’ve got the cajones)
11. Saying hi to the wrong person. “Hey what’s up girl! Oh, no you weren’t waving to me? No that’s cool I was waving to the….tree….behind you. Yea, we’re tight.” There’s no such thing as a smooth recovery.
12. Making an ugly face at a friend and someone else sees. Nope, that was not intended for you. Please just look away and try not to judge me.
Embrace the awkward and follow Claire on Twitter.