Starting my freshmen year at F&M has made me contemplate the process by which one makes friends. Thinking back to the last time I “made friends,” I was in middle school. I went to the same private school K-12th grade and consequently I’ve had the same amazing friends for the majority of my life. It’s comfortable, it’s easy, and it’s something you never have to think about. For most of us, making friends is something that all us college freshmen haven’t had to do in quite a while. So, during this frustrating and thrilling “making new friends” college experience, I have come to the realization that making girlfriends is exactly the same process as dating. Here are the similarities I have noticed:
1. Chemistry is everything – You know that feeling when you meet a guy and you think holy hell he is hottt, and you find out that he also plays varsity baseball, and that he’s super sweet, but also has that mysterious, sexy dark side, oh and he wears glasses… well, when you meet girlfriends, chemistry is instantaneous too, there should be a level of undeniable excitement, and if its not there the friendship thing isn’t going to work.
2. You don’t want to appear too eager – Just like getting the guy, girlfriends will happen naturally, if it never falls into play, it wasn’t meant to be. Both intimate relationships and friendships should never feel, or be, forced.
3. Don’t change your personality to fit someone else’s – Number one rule: never change yourself for a guy, and it’s the same rule for girlfriends too. If the friendship feels one sided, it’s most likely because there is no connection, you probably aren’t on the same level about life, and you are simply not feeling it. There’s nothing wrong with this; my best advice… just walk away.
4. Commonalities attract – We’ve all heard that opposites attract… newsflash it’s actually bullshit. When you realize there is a long list of similarities to bond over between you and someone new, the chances of the two of you getting close are very high.
5. There will be the one(s) – Just like the hopeless romantic happily ever after love stories, we will all eventually find the golden girl(s) who will stick by our side no matter what life hands us. We all have to be patient, and stay positive. I promise best friends will come; it’s just something that takes time… something that can’t be rushed.
HC XOXO Ali