The past few weeks have been very strange. I’ve felt excited one moment, and scared and sad the next. Turning 21 can be weird for everyone, especially if, like me, you think about growing older a lot, constantly evaluating the meaning and progress of your life because you read too many books. The final year of uni is the worst time to have your 21st birthday; you’ve got the most work that you’ve probably ever had, and you’re almost certainly worrying about your future. But it’s also the best time to have it, and it’s really exciting. This is a whole new stage of your life!
Family and friends who are older, and (obviously) wiser, like to say things along the lines of:
‘Now it’s all over. You’re all grown up!’
‘Make the most of your youth. It’ll be over before you know it!’
‘When I was your age…(insert funny, inspirational or patronising story here).’
After such statements, I am torn between three competing desires: to hug the friend/relative, to punch them in the face, and to curl into the foetal position whilst screaming ‘I’ll never grow up and you can’t make me!’
In many ways, I reckon I’ve transitioned quite well into an adult. I feed and clothe myself (most of the time). I manage to do all my work on time, to a fairly decent standard, and I do lots of extra-curricular stuff which even last year I was too scared to do, so I apparently I’m more confident. I am even becoming marginally more organised and productive. And, FINALLY, I have a vague idea of what I want to do with my life after uni finishes.
On the other hand, I can’t even do my laundry without everything turning mysteriously grey (where is this phantom piece of black fabric ruining all my underwear?!), I never iron my clothes, and I am scared of Monster Munch crisps. And I guess that’s OK. It will all come with time. Except for liking Monster Munch. That will never happen.
But I have no intention of stopping any of the following: fawning over baby animals, cuddling my mum, or watching Disney films. Yes, you have more responsibility when you become an adult, and you’ll notice that people start treating you as such, and expect more of you. And rightly so. Emotional maturity and independence is really important. But as long as you’re fulfilling your responsibilities, you can behave as childishly as you want to be in other areas of your life, and staying happy and playful is really important. You don’t have to give up the fun! I’m not going to start ‘acting’ more grown up just because I turned 21. Cheesy as the saying is, age is just a number. Don’t let society tell you how you should be behaving. And stop comparing yourself to other people. STOP IT.
Turning 21 is exciting. If you’ve been lucky, you have all the tools you need to get going and be happy. So use them.
And so, this is a big fat list to myself, and to anyone else who is scared about being a grown up, or thinks that I am qualified in any way at all to dish out life advice (i.e. no one):
Embrace becoming independent.
Work hard.
Be kind.
Make time for your dreams.
Enjoy yourself.
And for the record, I’m actually really enjoying being 21. Turns out, you can sing a full run of the Frozen soundtrack several times a day and still be reasonably productive. Dream achieved.
^ Elsa is 21. This is relevant.