Girls: it’s time to stop dating d*ckheads.
We all know that nice guys finish last, right? Every girl wants a Kanye to their Kim, a Danny Zuko to their Sandy. Who doesn’t want the excitement of the chase, the games, and the drama? If he doesn’t leave you crying on the bathroom floor, he’s not the one, right?
Wrong. Girls, we’re so much better than that, and here at HCX, we’re going to tell you why it’s time we all stopped dating d*ckheads…
[HerCampus disclaimer: we are not talking about the self-proclaimed nice guys who moan about being in the friendzone 24/7. Out there are some genuinely good guys, it just might take a little time and training your heart before you recognise them!]
‘But nice guys are boring’ we hear you cry, ‘I want passion! I want excitement!’
We hear you girl, we want it too! But firstly, we need to dispel this idea that nice equals boring. Boring equals boring. They’re not the same thing! We know that the bad boy who gives you a wink and then ignores you for three days sends butterflies and tingles around your body. Yet whilst it’s all fun and games at the beginning, actually being in a relationship with someone who constantly ignores you or treats you poorly just ends with being hurt.
Think Chuck and Blair of Gossip Girl fame: their love spans across 6 seasons and many continents. He flies to Paris to get her her favourite macaroons. Think closer: 6 seasons of fights, tears and constantly undermining and hurting each other, with a few grand gestures thrown in there so we still believe they love each other. Yes, he flies to Paris to get her favourite macaroons, but as an apology for hurting her.
So he trades his girlfriend to his uncle for a hotel, punches her and shows up on her wedding day to ruin her dreams, if he buys her flowers and expensive jewellery and says sorry every few months, it must be love, right?
It’s time we stop romanticising hurting each other, and started romanticising healthy relationships.
2.Once you’ve dated one bad-boy you’ve dated them all…
The games don’t change, and while it may be fun to do the whole ‘who’s going to text first’ and ‘will he speak to me on this night out’ thing for a while, sooner or later, it’ll just get boring. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your boyfriend isn’t ignoring you because he may or may not be sleeping with seven other girls? Yes, yes it would be.
It’s the same old story, he’s world-renowned for being a player and a bad guy, but he’s sweet to you and you fall for him instantly. Yet, and it might come as a shock to some; boys who aren’t decent to everyone aren’t decent boys. And it may take months, or it may take years, but the bad boy will eventually turn into a bad boyfriend, and he’ll start being mean to you too.
Now, we’re not saying that boys don’t mature and people can’t change; we know that sometimes true love does turn your Chris Brown into a Chris Pine. However, the majority of the time you can’t turn your toad into a Prince Charming, he has to do that by himself.
3.Good guys are better in bed.
One of the reasons so many girls ignore the good guy is because they want the sparks; the biting, scratching, spine tingling sex that so many of us associate with the bad guy image. Imagine if we told you it’s possible to have all of that (and more) without all the heartbreak? Well hang onto your hosiery gals because guess what, it’s true! Being good in bed has no correlation to how many motorbikes you ride, and a lot of the time the nice guys will be more attentive to your needs.
Have you ever been with someone who just kind of felt like he was in it for himself, not really paying attention to what you wanted and definitely not getting you anywhere near that big-O? Not a nice guy. Someone who loves and cares about you will want to make sure you have the most fun you could possibly be having. Being with someone who has your best interests at heart in (and out) of the bedroom makes you feel more relaxed, safer, and definitely more able to let yourself go, leading to more fun (we promise).
4.You’re going to need a nice husband…
It’s true! And even though a lot of us are at university and marriage feels like your 50th birthday (miles away and terrifying), for the majority, it’s going to happen at some point or another, and the guy you end up getting hitched to should probably be one of the good ones. You might as well start practising now with the guys you date, and who knows, maybe one of the good ones could end up being the one?
5.You deserve it!
How many nights have you spend crying over some *sshole who didn’t text you back or treat you right? More than you can count, we’re sure. Everyone knows how dating sh*tty guys makes you feel sh*tty, so why do we keep doing it? You run the risk of not just getting hurt, but actually doing lasting damage to your trust in guys, your self-esteem and many other disasters. Don’t jeopardise your present and future happiness for a boy who treats you like an option.
It’s time you let yourself be loved like you deserve to be.
The right guy will treat you like the princess you are, you just have to let him do it!