Most friendship groups have got one – the girl in a long-term relationship. When she’s not snuggling up with her boyfy and doing adorable relationship-y things, she’s on a night out with you, helping you get with that fit rugby player in Timepiece AND making sure you stay away from that weirdo you got with last week. She is the perfect wing-girl!
When you wake up the next morning with the pride of pulling an absolute worldie, we ask: do you appreciate the struggle and hardship faced the previous night by your professional wing-girl bestie?
Well if not, Hercampus is here to a remind you of some things she has to deal with on a regular basis:
1. Repeated requests during pres going something along the lines of, ‘do NOT let me get with ‘x’ again. He is soooo cringe and such an a**hole. Like really, you’re not allowed to let me get with him’. This one is problematic because, after a few jaegerbombs in the Lemmy, nothing will stop you from making regrettable decisions, not to mention the professional wing girl does not pride herself on cock-blocking. The next morning, you will probably blame her for not physically restraining you. Lose-lose scenario, really.
2. Being the ‘distracter’. You really want to get with this fit guy who recently lent you a lighter in the Arena smoking area, but he has a friend who appears to know ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE in the club so insists on following you both around. What does your admirable professional wing girl do? She distracts the creepy weird friend by pretending to be into him until the absolute last minute when she runs home and calls her boyfriend. That’s true friendship right there.
3. Dancing with you in the middle of the dancefloor, going mental to Taylor Swift and getting emosh about how much you love each other (‘Oh my goddddd you’re like my bestie everrrrrrrrrr love yoooouuuu’), until a sweaty Fresher catches your beer-goggled eye mid-convo. She will tap you on the shoulder, check you’re okay and tell you to make good choices (which you probably won’t) before frantically running off to find any other girls she might know. How else is she going to the toilet?! On her own?!
4. Assessing how attractive your pursuer is, because you are too drunk/the guy is standing behind you grinding on dat ass. This is highly stressful for your wing girl as she has to make a split-second decision that could impact your whole night/relationship. If you agree with her decision, she has succeeded in her wing-girl duties. However, if you think this guy is a complete munter, she will get the blame, as noted in point 1.
5. Waking up the next morning to a frantic phonecall and/or 30 texts from you, saying something along the lines of ‘OMG did you see how fit that guy was? The one I got with? I am IN LOVE’. If the guy turns out to be a little sh*t, she will be the one picking up the pieces and reminding you to STOP stalking his facebook/ex-girlfriends. She will also be the one laughing with you as you lay on your bed regretting your antics, whilst secretly wishing she was the one with all the stories.
So next time you’re out with your taken best-friend, make sure you appreciate her helping hand as you pull, drink and laugh through single life. If the roles were reversed, you know you’d do the same for her.