Inspired by a lecture in Family Law, Caitlin Jenkins Watson speaks out about Forced Marriage…
Phrases like ‘true love’ and images of the perfect romance are batted around constantly. Every year thousands of books and films appear, entirely centred on this notion. Valentines Day is a commercial holiday entirely given over to cashing in on this apparent universal need, and the concept has long become normalised into our society; hearts, chocolates and flowers. What girl hasn’t dreamed of her perfect Disney romance? Or imagined a Cinderella sans-glass slipper moment as you trip down the stairs from TopTop?. Sadly however, many girls and women from across the world are never to experience ‘true love’ of this sort, as forced or early marriages are a tragic reality faced by 14 million girls each year across 74 different countries. In fact the number is probably significantly higher, as many are cautious about speaking out, so the true scale of the issue is unclear.
The difference between ‘arranged marriages’ and ‘forced marriages’ is important to understand. Arranged marriage is when parents choose to match their daughters or sons with possible, suitable partners; while a forced marriage arises when either or both, are not given the final decision whether to marry or not. Recognising this difference, forced marriage in the UK has now been made criminal under the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act of 2014. However the availability of information is scarce and people should be made aware of this very real matter. It is of the utmost importance.
It is true to say that many couples meet through arranged matches and go on to have extremely happy fulfilling marriages, but it is not to these examples that I am referring. We all know about Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet; a young couple who meet a tragic fate for falling in love with the ‘wrong’ person. But even more shocking is how in the 21st Century the opposite of this fictional couple’s story is occurring; that women and men have no say in who they are allowed to love; being driven to ‘love’ someone they’ve hardly met.
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Even worse, the NSPCC has recorded that children as young as 12 have been calling ChildLine regarding forced marriage, with the quantity of calls rocketing up by two-thirds in the past year. Last year the government’s Forced Marriage Unit heard over 1,300 cases, and 15% of victims were under the age of 15; that is, under the UK’s legal age to marry. The fact that such young girls, (often the target audience for film corporations, magazines and the popular music industry, tirelessly promoting the ideals of ‘true love’ and other romanticisms) have been affected by forced marriages, demonstrates what a divided world we live in. The media is wholly focused on selling songs and films portraying the beauty of ‘real’ Disney love and heartbreak, and determined to ignore the harsh reality of the lack of freedom girls, boys, women and men are experiencing every day in relation to their life partners.
Why then in today’s culture are these marriages still occurring despite protest from the couple? One of the reasons appears to be the sheer number of people who are simply too afraid to come forward and ask for help, and this is why we need to raise public recognition of the issue. Hopefully those affected will feel more able to reach out and do just that. Nelson Mandela’s famous mantra that “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” is one of the most simple yet profound of statements. Widespread distribution of information is the key to changing the future of these men and women.
The Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act, which came into force in March 2014, is still at too early a stage to evaluate what effect it has had, however the new law, will hopefully encourage people to speak out.
Aneeta Prem, founder of Freedom Charity, educating young people about forced marriage, said the new UK law sent out a “powerful message that this indefensible abuse of human rights will not be tolerated”. This message needs to be globalised, firstly so that people feel confident to come forward and seek help, and that hopefully someday every person, regardless of age, sex, race or religious belief has the freedom at least to dream of their own ‘Cinderella moment’. The issue is one of freedom; one culture may point proudly to the number of successful arranged marriages, made finally with the full consent of the couple involved; while in another some may be celebrating their diamond anniversary with ‘the boy-or-girl-next-door’ or someone met by a chance encounter, thus fulfilling the Disney Dream.
The point is not which method of choosing a life partner is ultimately superior; it is ultimately about upholding the freedom to decide.