There’s always that one girl.
She’s so funny, she makes everybody giggle like hyenas, her hair is Gossip-Girl-style perfect, and – annoyingly – she’s absolutely lovely. She seemingly has no flaws.
But thinking about how amazing your Perfect Friend/Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend/Ex-Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend is will make you feel about as worthless as Pluto when its Planet Status was taken away from it.
So we’ve come up with a few solutions to remind you that you are not a boring, vanilla-flavoured ice cream: you are a banana split with sprinkles on it!
1. Sambuca shots. This is a fun little drinking game we call ‘Drink When You See Her’ and it’s guaranteed to make you feel better about life.
Downsides may include: the high prices (especially if you’re at Timepiece), and the fact that alcohol can make you do stupid things.
For instance, you might jump down the stairs because you think you can fly (heads up: you can’t, as the attractive green bruise on your forehead will testify)
Perhaps alcohol isn’t really the solution…
2. Be friendly and outgoing. It’s so easy to want to hate this ‘perfect’ creature, and being jealous nearly always leads to being bitchy.
Look at Vivian and Elle in Legally Blonde – the former was clearly jealous of beautiful and bubbly Reese Witherspoon (well who wouldn’t be?!) and was really mean to her, meaning that we all rallied behind Elle in her fight to out-smart this evil brunette. Yet when Vivian started being nice to Elle they realised that they actually had a lot in common and – according to the subtitles at the end of the film– they became best friends.
We’re not saying that you should become besties with your boyfriend’s ex, but a smile and a quick chat wouldn’t do any harm!
3. Act confident even if you don’t feel it. Like a fake orgasm, it’s all about appearances – if you know that you appear confident, the girl is less likely to intimidate you. Plus, if you start pretending to be confident, then the real confidence is sure to follow.
4. Chat to your friends.
Your friends are your home away from home, and they love you despite your craziness- namely your newfound obsession with this ‘perfect’ girl, who you may have only actually talked to once (that time she said ‘excuse me’ to you in the queue outside Arena).
It’s been scientifically proven that a night in with the girls and with the only guys that matter in the world (Ben and Jerry) can cure most insecurities.
5. Make lists about why you’re great.
OK, this may sound slightly lame, but trust me on this one. When you’re constantly comparing yourself to this amazing girl you may feel like you’re in her shadow – like Blair envies Serena in the first season of Gossip Girl.
Instead of feeling like rubbish, we advise that you never let any girl keep you from putting the ‘ass’ in ‘sass’. Remember how fantabulous you are as a person and do a mental list of things that you like about yourself. Then you’ll realise that, whilst this girl might be great, you’re also something pretty special!
6. Take her off her pedestal.
We’re not saying that you should be bitchy about her. SO often do you catch people saying things like “oh, yes, Paula is great, but I hear she’s a pyscho/bitch/slut/prude”.
As aforementioned in Point 2, there’s really no need to be mean about this girl.
Having said that, remember that nobody is perfect.
Like you, this girl probably wakes up in the morning with breath that smells like a zombie apocalypse, and she, too, has Bad Face Days (you know, when a Mount Etna-sized spot decides to surface on the tip of your nose). Don’t idolise her as a goddess, because nobody wakes up flawless (unless you’re Beyoncé, of course).
To conclude, Little Miss Perfect really isn’t THAT perfect and, even if she is amazing, remember that you are also brilliant. Don’t let her make you feel like irrelevant Pluto when you’re really a sexy Venus.
Stay happy, stay confident, stay sassy.