Nothing is more daunting than starting at a new school, but for some people, the school they had their heart set on just isn’t the right place for them. We’ve all heard the stories of people being unhappy with their college choice, but we hoped and prayed that we made the right decision and that it wouldn’t happen to us. It’s a known fact that approximately one third of college students transfer schools before graduating, so what should you do when one of your friends comes to you for advice? If you are as happy with your college decision as I am, this can be a pretty scary question, especially because you don’t know how they feel and you most certainly don’t want to steer them the wrong way.
Do not give them your opinion. I know it sounds weird, but at the same time there are ways to give advice without inputting your own voice. First, listen to them. Find out how they are feeling, because even though you can’t relate, you can try to see things from their point of view. The hardest part of the situation is trying to see things from their perspective, especially if you love your school and are happy with your decision to go there. Once you see can see their position, then it becomes easier for you to move forward and work with them to help them as best you can.
Once you are able to see their position, it will be easier for you to prompt them into other discussion points. Offer them different questions about why they want to transfer. This will help fill in any gaps still remaining. Let them tell you why, do not assume and interject your own answers. This goes back to my previous point of not giving them your opinion. Transferring schools is a big decision that your friend has to make on their own. Offer guidance, but nothing more. Allowing them to talk through the problems they have with the institution will help them reach their decision.
Most importantly though, your friend has come to you for support, so give it to them. Do not ty to convince them to stay if they are contemplating leaving. They came to you because they are unhappy, and as their friend, you need to make sure they make the decision that is going to make them the most happy. Despite the fact that you might feel sad when they leave, or that you’ll miss them, ultimately, they need to do what is going to make them happy and successful. If the school isn’t doing that for them, don’t convince them they should stay and give it more time. Ultimately, it is their decision, so be there for your friend by offering them your ear, more than your opinion. It will mean much more to them in the end that you stood by them. Just because they decide to transfer, that does not mean your friendship is over, and by guiding them through their thoughts to a decision, you can help show that your friendship is worth more than just the convenience of physical proximity.