It seems like only yesterday that I was moving into my cramped dorm, wondering how I would be able to fit my excessive amounts of shoes in that little armoire. I remember being so nervous that I felt physically ill; wondering how I would like my roommate, if I would make friends, if I had made the right choice in coming here. Now the year is coming to a close and, as the final projects pile up, I find myself reflecting on these past two semesters; the ups and downs and places where I was just ready to quit.
The first semester of college was probably one of the most difficult times of my life. While my classes weren’t overly difficult and I wasn’t struggling in the academic sense; I found myself having a hard time adjusting to the college lifestyle. I missed my home, I missed my friends, and I just didn’t find myself acclimating to Emerson. Sure, I had the entirety of the city of Boston at my fingertips, but, at the end of the day, I had to come back to good old Little Building and I just wasn’t happy. If you were to ask me what exactly about Emerson made me unhappy, I am not sure I would have an answer. Part of me just felt that the idea of college wasn’t for me and that I would be unhappy anywhere I went. I tried to keep a positive outlook, but my introverted demeanor kept me from making truly close friends. I found myself heading home for the weekends more and more (something I was desperately trying to avoid).
The true change occurred only at the conclusion of winter break and the beginning of second semester. I convinced myself that I would go back to school with a completely new outlook. I would continue to build friendships and when I was feeling unhappy, I would force myself to do something to keep myself busy and hopefully cheer me up. I even stopped myself from taking quite as many naps, a habit I had gotten into over the course of first semester. I began to work out, and as the days got warmer, I found my mood slowly begin to lift. Almost out of nowhere, I had friends who I was close to and more and more people who I knew. I was feeling better about myself and I stopped going home quite as often even though I missed my parents a great deal. And even though I stay had days where I would feel down, I no longer regretted my choice in going to Emerson. I was happy.