In college it can be difficult for girls to decipher whether a guy wants friendship or is looking for something more. With this age of hooking up, breaking up and making out, nonsexual girl-guy friendships can seem impossible. So, here’s my advice on how to keep a guy as just a friend, whether his feelings for you are genuine or purely physical.
Can’t we just be friends? Going to college means meeting new guys. But it can be difficult Coming to Emerson, there was a huge gap in the straight-guy-to-girl ratio. I was just trying to make friends, but the guys were interested in a lot more, especially at beginning of the semester parties and orientation activities. If a guy seems interested in you, let him know from the beginning that you have no interest in a deeper relationship. If you have a boyfriend, be clear that he’s the only guy you’re interested in. And if your new guy friend can’t handle the truth, the “just friends” thing wouldn’t work out anyway.
Don’t take advantage of his feelings. If your guy friend admitted that he has feelings for you, don’t give him false hope by flirting or being overly friendly. You never know how a guy will interpret what you do. If saying hello with a wink is casual to you, it may mean more to your friend. You wouldn’t flirt with your girlfriends so don’t flirt with the guys either.
Heyy ;) It’s best not to use texting as the only means of communication between you and your guy friend. Texts are difficult to decipher and their tone is not always clear. I’m guilty of sending a few flirty messages, but try to avoid using smiley faces and winks. If you can’t resist the convenience, keep your texts simple. Text your guy-friends like you’re a guy. You know, with little emotion and poor phrasing.
Friendly Dates Don’t let others make assumptions about you and your guy friend. If you go out together, don’t act overly affectionate. Keep things friendly by suggesting lunch instead of dinner and avoid intimate locations. And don’t let him pay for things or take you out one-on-one.
If you have a boyfriend… Make sure your boyfriend doesn’t feel threatened by your friendship. I talk about my guy friends in relation to my best girlfriends. It’s comforting for my boyfriend to know that one of my close friends is acting as a chaperone. If you and your guy friend become closer, introduce him to your boyfriend. That way, he’ll see how you interact with your friend.
The Break Up If your guy friend still wants more, it’s time to break up the friendship. Shorten your time with him and try not to initiate meetings. If the guy is persistent, don’t make up excuses for not seeing him. Just be honest about why you can’t be friends anymore. If he can’t respect your feelings (or lack thereof) it’s better to end the friendship before someone gets hurt.