Hey girls,
So today, I want to discuss something a little more personal, something that is often ignored in our culture: mental illnesses. There are all types of different mental disorders and a lot of them go undiagnosed for a variety of reasons. Either way, they can be the cause of many problems in a person’s life. I want to share with you a bit about my experience and let you know that some are actually very common and definitely not something to be ashamed of. The most important part of it all: the fact that you can get better.
A lot of people know me as the happy and bubbly actress that is always down to have a good time. I walk around smiling and most people probably think I’m always happy, but I’m not. About two years ago, I started noticing myself becoming less and less happy. I would always feel very anxious or detached, and when people asked what was wrong, I genuinely did not have an answer. There was no reason I could think of that was causing these feelings within me, but I did have them. I would have sporadic panic attacks and would feel so depressed that I started hating who I was, or rather, who I was starting to become.
Last year, I began going to therapy; I was immediately diagnosed with depression and anxiety and given Prozac, an anti-depressant. The woman who was now in charge of my mental health started trying to get me to talk about everything. However, being the stubborn girl I am, it took a while for me to even slightly open up to her, but I started to after a few months. Eventually, I realized that I didn’t want to go anymore; I was done dealing with this through therapy, which wasn’t working for me, probably not the healthiest choice, but one that I felt confident about. I also felt like I was burdening my family, going to Emerson AND an expensive therapist.
However, I do not regret my choices. Overall, I am the only one who can know what is best for me. Sure, I probably should be taking medicine and going to therapy every week still, but I don’t want to.
I’m not saying to quit treatment if you’re in it, and I’m not saying medicine isn’t helpful. This is just my experience with it. I didn’t feel comfortable opening up to a complete stranger; it felt odd to me and I’d prefer to talk to my friends, especially since I didn’t want to tell my family about it. Once I told a few of my closest friends, I started being more open about my experiences with it in general which helped me talk about it to other people who I don’t know as well. Basically, I just want you to know that you are not alone. There are many ways to heal and ultimately you are the only one who can decide what is best for you. However, if you do want help, there are many options.
Of course, there is private therapy, medication, Emerson’s counseling center, etc. Don’t be afraid to reach out. There are people to help you, and you don’t have to fight this battle alone. But, if you’re anything like me, you definitely don’t have the money to pay for private therapy. However, some groups are covered and are much more inexpensive. For a start, you could check out a place I mentioned before: the counseling center. You can go alone or even with a group of friends. All you have to do is call them to make an appointment, and it is free to students.
You can call them at 617-824-8595. Their hours are 8:45 am- 5:00 pm Monday-Friday, and they are closed 12:00-1:00 pm during those days. They are located on the second floor of 216 Tremont Street.