We all get in little lover quarrels that seem so important at the time, but are so irrelevant after they happen. Most of these fights are caused by miscommunication and just saying the wrong thing. So here are the top 12 things that you should never say to your significant other.
1. “Never mind.”
Why never mind? Obviously you said something and if your significant other asked what you said, then just say it! It is one of the most annoying things when someone says never mind. Then you start to think about what it was you missed. Did they say something funny? Mean? So just say what you want to say and let the words come out, as my favorite girl Sara Bareilles says. If they ask, tell!
2. “You don’t understand.”
How do you know that someone doesn’t understand? Sure, you think you know everything about each other, but the reality is you don’t. So explain to them what’s going on and why you feel isolated. At the end of the day it is both of your jobs to try to understand each other because we all need someone to lean on who can properly sympathize with us. And if your partner really doesn’t understand, don’t hold it against them. We can’t all share the same experiences and feelings. That doesn’t make them love you any less.
3. “You know why…”
If they ask you “why,” it is safe to say that they don’t know why you’re mad or talking about something with them. Just because you’re together doesn’t mean you can always read each other’s minds. Just be easy on your partner and explain why your mad or frustrated.
4. “You always/never…”
Don’t be so confrontational. Odds are they don’t always leave the dirty dishes in the sink or leave the toilet seat up. And if they do, just be a little gentle with it. Just tell them know what’s bothering you and maybe they will be more open to fixing the problem. What’s that saying about catching more flies with honey than vinegar? Well I think that can be applied here.
5. “You’re overreacting!”
If you weren’t in the middle of a fight before this moment, you are now. You never tell your significant other that they are overreacting if they are really upset about something. It’s like telling them that you aren’t taking this issue as seriously as them. That is never a good start to a resolution. All problems are important, even if it’s just about taking out the trash, because let’s be honest, it’s not just about taking out the trash.
6. “Whatever. I’m sorry.”
Don’t do a half apology when in a fight. Sometimes no apology is better than one that doesn’t really mean anything. It takes away from the genuine apologies that your partner may not really believe with your track record. So stay genuine and don’t just say sorry to end a fight, because it will only postpone it.
7. “Where have you been all day?”
Sure, you want to spend all your time with your partner, but that doesn’t mean you are privy to every move and event in their day. There’s a difference between “how was your day” and “where have you been.” It is always better for your partner to share information like that on their own so they don’t feel suffocated by your questions and grip. Give them space.
8. “Will you relax?”
If you ask someone to relax, the very opposite will happen. So just don’t do it.
9. “I don’t want to talk.”
Talking is important in any relationship. If something is bothering you and your partner wants to talk about it, you should. Even if it doesn’t have anything to do with them, they are still worried about you and want to know why you are upset. So talk, don’t leave things unsaid.
10. “I’m fat. Don’t you think I’m fat?”
Don’t ask anyone this question, especially your significant other. No one knows how to answer that question properly. If you say “no,” girls will either love the reassurance, or get resentful because they think you are lying. If you say “yes,” there is a chance she will cry. If you stay silent then she may breakup with you. Just don’t bring your partner into your insecurities. You’re not fat, so don’t ask other people if you are.
11. “It’s not my fault. It’s yours!”
It takes two to tango. Odds are both of you are at fault for whatever went wrong. Sure, he was late to your anniversary dinner which ruined the whole night, but you made the reservation without asking what time he would get out of work. The best thing to do is take responsibility for your side and talk about how to fix the problem. You’ll probably both realize how ridiculous the whole fight was in the first place.
12. “My ex never did this!”
Never ever ever talk about the ex. Period.