Looking back a year ago, I would tell you I had the rest of my life figured out. I was going to go off to college to study psychology and nutrition to eventually become a psychiatrist. I hoped to work in an eating disorder treatment center to help girls go through the same terrifying process I was in the middle of. I still had a long road ahead of me, but came to terms that maybe I was meant to struggle with an eating disorder because it was my life destiny to help others recover.
My eating disorder consumed my life for the past three years and, instead of trying to fight it, I accepted that this was my new life. That I would forever be the girl with bulimia. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through but, I have built up so much strength through this experience.
Everyone knew about my future plans but as I walked into psychology class and immediately felt a huge pit in my stomach. Something wasn’t right.
I began to look through the major requirements. All the sudden nothing sounded interesting. The course syllabus seemed more boring than statistics and found myself looking at my phone to check the time every 30 seconds. I needed to get out of there. In my head I thought this is what I wanted. The more I thought about it I realized it was nothing I wanted at all.
I reflected on how large of a role my eating disorder played in my life. It will always be present and I will never forget what I went through but that does not mean I want it to be my whole life. I was a new person, starting a new chapter in my life. I no longer had to be the girl with the eating disorder, I could be who I wanted to be.
That night I scrolled through the list of majors my school had to offer. When I got to the S section of majors I felt a feeling in my heart as my mouse clicked on sports management. I felt it in my bones, this is what I was meant to do. My friends laughed at the fact that I switched my major on the first day, but I knew it in my gut, I was meant for sports.
It is crazy that so much could change in a year. The last thing I would imagine myself as was a sport management major but now, I couldn’t picture myself doing anything else. So if you’re reading this sitting in biology class secretly wishing you were dancing on a stage, go for it. If your heart is not 100% into it, than don’t be scared to change your mind. Everybody has a passion and sometimes it takes more than one try to find it.