Everyone experiences the difficulty of being away from someone he/she loves. We all experienced it when we left our parents to come to college! However, there is a different type of difficulty in leaving behind your special someone. Maybe your partner is at a different college, or back at home, or even overseas. However, distance can never truly break an emotional connection. It can just temporarily dismantle a physical one! It only takes a little positivity and easy adjustments to your lifestyle. So if your significant other isn’t going to be next to you today or tomorrow, here are ten tips to keep that love flame burning even when you can’t kiss them goodnight.
1. Never underestimate the beauty of video chat! Set up a “FaceTime Date” a couple times a week! Even though texting and talking on the phone are both great, there’s something to be said about seeing the other person’s facial expressions and really having an interactive conversation. That being said, make sure you are both committed to Skyping and having your full attention on each other. Don’t try to multitask with homework, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and Netflix!
2. Do things together. Agree that you’re both going to watch the new episode of your favorite TV show together! Set up a video chat, and watch the show together, critiquing parts you don’t like or laughing over the jokes you both love. Have each of you order Chinese food from the restaurants around you and have dinner together, comparing dishes and reading your fortunes together. Hearing them laugh at the same time as you will make everything taste or seem even better. It’ll feel like your partner is sitting right next to you the entire time.
3. Share a project! Create something that the two of you can work on together, such as a journal that you mail back and forth with pictures and messages from each of your experiences, or a blog that you both can add to. Sharing a project will let you both express yourselves, which is always healthy and will bring the two of you closer in a fun, creative way.
4. Write love letters. Don’t underestimate the love power of snail mail! Write them a cute letter, and maybe attach a photo or a cartoon that makes you laugh. Although it’s true that you’ll probably still be in contact with them while the letter is being sent, there’s always something romantic about receiving a handwritten letter in the mail!
5. Set ground rules. As hard as it is to admit, your relationship has changed now that you’ve entered a “LDR.” It’s really important to express to your significant other what you’re comfortable/not comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with them going to the bar Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, or if he/she isn’t comfortable with you wearing that dress that shows just a little too much skin, then communicate and respect. Jealousy and fear are normal, but if left to fester, then the emotions can rampage and cause bigger issues down the road.
6. Avoid “dangerous situations.” If you’re going out with that one girl from your global class who thinks relationships are silly and is dying to hook you up with her guy friend, take a moment to pause. Is this situation really best for you? Is it worth the impending fight that is sure to follow? This doesn’t mean you should take yourself out of every situation, however. Know what’s really worth your time, energy, and stress.
7. Avoid over-communication, make sure you each have some alone time. As wonderful as it is to talk to your partner every second of every day, it can sometimes be overkill. It’s okay to tell them that you need an hour to yourself and that you’ll text them later. Take a hot shower, go for a run, let them have that movie night with their friends without having to text you updates every few seconds. It’ll give you more to talk about when you return, and you’ll feel refreshed after taking care of yourself. After all, you come first!
8. Create a “visiting” schedule. Establish a couple of dates when you can see each other, plan out who is going to whom, and how to pay for travel fare. Once you see that date on the calendar, it’ll be a saving grace for both of you so that you have a goal in mind. The waiting time won’t seem as long anymore, because there is no longer any vagueness as to when you’ll get to hug them again!
9. Share calendars/schedules. Create a Google calendar that you both can share and update with meetings, classes, and special events. First, this avoids that awkward situation where he/she calls you nine times because you didn’t respond to their text and think you got hit by a bus when in reality you had a job interview and turned off your phone. Second, it lets both of you see what the other is up to! It’s a fun way to share your lives and get excited about events together. Finally, your partner will remember special events like your big English presentation that you’ve been working on all month. Don’t you want them to remember that? Well, now he/she will!
10. Keep positive! Having a good, healthy relationship begins with a good attitude. Both of you need to keep your heads up, your smiles bright and happy, and your eyes looking forward! If you begin this new journey with the outlook that LDR’s are just hard and never work out, then chances are you’re going to struggle with this new adjustment. However, keep the love in your hearts and the smiles on your faces. Follow these tips and you will see them again soon!