I’m not gonna lie—every time someone asks me, “What are your plans for after college?”, a little piece of me dies. I can’t control the dread that fills me at the prospect of planning, much less thinking about my post-grad intentions. Half the time, when people ask this question, I’m busy thinking about how I’m going to make time for dinner that day.
Milquetoast questions about your future abound at Thanksgiving, when family who haven’t seen you in eons finally get a glimpse at your face (“and did you get a haircut? No? Huh, it looks different. Did you style it differently? No? Are you sure?”).
When your second cousin thrice removed’s great aunt’s sister stumbles over, wine glass empty for the fifth time, and asks what college you go to (even though you’re wearing your Elizabethtown College sweatshirt), you might want to scream. You might want to grab a megaphone and address the entire dining room audience with your life story, starting from conception and going up until those dreaded post-college plans.
Don’t do any of that, though. Stand your ground and answer with a smile. After all, as obnoxious as those questions can be, it helps to put everything into perspective.
There’s a good chance the relatives asking those questions haven’t seen you in a long time. Even if they’ve asked you the question previously, it’s likely they may have forgotten. The fact that they’re asking, even if it’s for the fiftieth time, shows they are interested in you. They care about you and want to know your goals and dreams. They wouldn’t ask such a thing just to aggravate you.
Besides, your siblings and cousins are likely getting similar questions. My brother and sister, who have graduated from university and now work in the Real World, are often asked about their jobs, the cities they live in and (in my brother’s case) the big game between Penn State University and whatever less-desirable college opposes them.
It’s understandable that answering the same question over and over and over and over can be annoying and, at times, exhausting. So, you should prepare for the Thanksgiving meal by preparing concise answers to the following questions:
· How’s college going, Insert Name Here?
· What’s your major again?
· Oh, interesting… so what do you plan on doing with that degree?
Often, the three college questions are used as icebreakers for relatives who don’t really know how to approach you. It’s easy for a sibling to waltz over and tease you with a jab in the ribs and a slightly-too-loud “remember the time we were crabbing at the beach with Grandpa and you managed to drop the net into the water, and he had to lay down on the pier and grab it?” There’s a level of familiarity there (and an obligation for siblings to embarrass you at every chance). For distant relatives, the people who live under different roofs, it’s harder to start up a conversation. What better way than to use generic questions that are easy to ask and easy to answer?
When you get asked about college this holiday season, try not to roll your eyes and give a lazy answer. Tell them what you’ve been up to. Maybe you recently joined a club, or went with a group of friends to an amusement park. Think of fun things that have happened in your college experience and share those stories. Don’t just shut out family members after saying, “You know, I’m going to hold off on grad school until I’ve been part of the work force for a few years.” Continue the conversation with that breaking story about how you got a job with the admissions office as a tour guide, or the vivid memory of driving fifty miles to the nearest Chipotle just to get a discount burrito on Halloween. Relatives may not say it, but these are the things they want to hear.
I’ll do you a favor and sum up my rambling: don’t stop the conversation as quickly as you can. Embrace the family that embraces you, and share some happy memories. It’s Thanksgiving, after all, and at times like these, we should be thankful for family members who love and cherish us.