My face is not perfect and neither am I.
Acne. Ugh something I thought I would grow out of but instead I grew into. For the last two years my face has been covered in red blemishes. It has driven me insane, and I have tried just about everything to fix it. I am a vegan. I drink plenty of water (only one cup of caffeine. I workout nearly everyday. I have been to the dermatologist. And yet this this feels completely out of my control.
I need straight As, stellar recommendations, a fit body, my dream job, the best looking boyfriend, and tons of friends, with a side of curly fries please. Perfection is what I am after. I want it all. The perfect life. I want to be perfect! What girl doesn’t?! But I have to embrace the skin I am in flaws and all. There are things about ourselves we can never change. Embracing things I cannot change takes the pressure off. I cannot change my face, body structure, or my brain. It’s mine, and I love it. If I can’t love it how can I expect anyone else to love it.
I took the makeup off. I Stopped hiding my blemishes. Raw and uncovered. At times I am tempted to cake my face with cream powder once more. Honestly, some days I just feel like I need it. Insecurities creep in and the desire to strive for perfection comes back. But I am slowing become comfortable with my natural self flaws and all. I can filter my life and put a caption on it, but living real.
I stopped putting myself in situations where I don’t feel I belong. I stopped trying to force relationships and friendships. Superficial relationships just aren’t worth it to me anymore. I want everyone to think I am great but I am tired of feeling exhausted from putting on the face of “I’m fine” when I am clearly not. Where are my makeup wipes because I need to take this pretentious attitude off, it is not who I am. I am real, I am imperfect, and I am undeniably incredible even when I wear my hair in a bun with no make-up on.
I am learning to be real and untouched. Unphotoshopped. This is how I believe we were designed to be, yet somewhere in the midst of designer brands, expensive makeup, and apps that can make me look twenty pounds lighter I forgot about that. This photo above captured me while I was backpacking in Grayson Highlands. I was so afraid to post it because of my skin. Now looking back on it I don’t know why.
A lot of people don’t notice my flaws the way that I do. I see everything. I become perfect when I accept that I will never achieve perfection.At the end of the day I have to be okay with myself. I know so many other girls who struggle with their appearance. Whatever your thing is about yourself that you hate, stop indulging that thought pattern of self loathing. I am not saying you have to love it right away. If I could wish my acne away I would, but I only have we only have one life. I am not going to waste it worrying about a couple blemishes on my face. Embrace you and I promise you others will too.
Love, Morgan