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To the Girl Who Let Herself be Used

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ECU chapter.

If you’re reading this (it’s not too late, I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself), then you’ve probably recently been used by someone in your life. Whether it be a boy, a parent, or a friend, it stings, but what hurts more is that looking back, you let yourself be treated that way. You kept making excuses for that person. “Oh they’re just busy, that’s why they’re ignoring me.” “They didn’t mean to set me up for failure like that, even though they knew the outcome.” We’ve all been there. What makes you special is that your realized that you deserve to be treated better than that. Some people will never learn that, so you’re already ahead of game.

I know it hurts. At first you’re just mad at them. How could someone treat you like that? What made them think that was okay? You channel all that anger you’re feeling to them, and truthfully you should be a little angry at them. They were terrible to you. They made you doubt yourself, and in my opinion that’s almost unforgivable. How dare someone make you feel like you are worth any less than what you know you are (which is a lot). You realize that you deserve better.

Then comes the next stage, which is so stomach churnigingly awful once you realize it, it might make you sick. You realize that you let yourself be used and manipulated by that person. It’s not your fault that they treated you so terribly, that one is on them. However, you will definitely start feel sick about making excuses for them. You made excuses for the things they did to you, but if they had done that to one of your friends, you would’ve told them to drop that person like a hot potato (they told you that too, you’re just stubborn). You feel mad at yourself because you let this keep happening once you realized what was happening. It’s okay to feel angry at yourself for a little while, and honestly the hardest part is going to be letting go of that anger. You would think it would be forgiving that person, but forgiving yourself is so much harder. 

I can’t tell you that you’re going to feel better anytime soon. I can’t tell you that this is going to be an easy process. But one morning, you’re going to wake up, and the first thing you think about isn’t going to be that anger. You’re going to see that person, and your really just not going to care. Because honestly, you realize that you deserve so much more than to be someones second choice. If you’re reading this, it’s really not too late to forgive yourself.