Pumpkin spice lattes. Hell, pumpkin spice anything. Oversized sweaters with leggings and Uggs. The latest edition of the IPhone. Non-fat peppermint mochas. Infinity scarves. Excessive use of emojis, Instagram filters, and Pinterest.. A near cultish love of the scented candles and Gossip Girl.
You knew who I was describing before I even said it: “the basic b*tch.”
As a lover of unsweetened black coffee and a long time Ugg skeptic, I have never been accused of being basic. I do not feel personally offended by the “basic” label because it doesn’t apply to me. But on behalf of females everywhere, I’m pissed off. So I’ve compiled a list of all the reasons why “basic b*tch” jokes need to go.
First and foremost, they aren’t even funny.
Really. If you can’t contain your giggles at a girl who drinks Starbucks and wears Uggs (a.k.a. 99% of Duke’s female population), you really need to reevaluate your life choices.
Second, they are majorly hypocritical.
I support this claim with a personal anecdote:
“Ugh, all these basic white girls dress the same! I mean come on, have some originality,” says the frat star in loafers, Nantucket Reds, a Vineyard Vines button down, and a backwards hat. The 67 other frat stars in the vicinity who are also in loafers, Nantucket Reds, a Vineyard Vines button downs and backwards hats nod in agreement.
Come on Duke guys. Do better.
Third, they are hella patriarchal.
Seriously, telling women what they can and cannot wear, whether directly or through “basic” jeers, is not acceptable. Assuming that a woman is shallow or unintelligent just because she likes “basic” things is dismissive of women and their right to express themselves. Which is totally not rad.
So to all my “basic b*tches,” keep on sippin’ that non-fat iced chai latte and walk proudly in those Ugg boots. Some may criticize, but a. they are totally out of line and b. their feet are definitely not as warm as yours.