The past few weeks have been the most exciting, but also difficult ones of my life. No one tells you how hard it is to leave home and move into a whole new environment. One of the hardest things about Duke is that everyone seems to have it all together. All the girls are pretty, thin, funny, and ridiculously smart. From the beginning I felt horribly inadequate. I worried that my classes were too easy just because they weren’t orgo or multivariable calculus. I thought that my outfits weren’t cute enough when everyone looked like a Lilly Pulitzer model. Adjusting to the social life is even more daunting than the academics here. Even on move-in day it seemed as though everyone had found their groups already and I was doomed to a life at Duke without friends. As people started to find their rhythms, I felt so homesick. I wished was back with the comforts of my bedroom, friends, and parents.
I didn’t think my first few days would go this way. Everyone says that college is supposed to be the best four years of your life. That adds a lot of pressure! I started worrying that I wasn’t cut out for Duke or any college at all.
Fortunately, as soon as I made a few realizations a lot of the anxieties and pressures I felt lessened. I’m not saying that now I think that Duke is super easy and I feel totally comfortable, but each day I feel more at home. I’ve found some great friends, gotten involved in clubs, and started to settle into life at Duke.
Anyone who is still feeling the way I did should take these pointers into consideration.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. We are all coming from different backgrounds and experiences, none of which are better or worse than others. As a white girl from New Jersey, I feel totally ordinary compared to the guy who’s lived in six countries, but I have as much value to add to the conversation as he does. Own your experiences and don’t be ashamed of them.
You deserve to be here. This is really hard to accept when the girl living on your hall is taking five classes this semester, staring in the cabaret, and is currently finding the cure for Ebola. There is a reason that you have been accepted here. Even if you are having a hard time identifying that reason, just focus on what you can do to take advantage of all the amazing opportunities you have here.
There is no set way to do things. Who says that you have to go to Shooters on Wednesday night? As much fun as it may be, it’s not everyone’s scene and sometimes you’re just not feeling it. That’s ok! Take a time out and binge on some Netflix or catch up on some sleep. Listen to your own needs and do what feels right.
Don’t be afraid if everything isn’t falling into place right away. You are going to get more comfortable here, but it just might take some time. Even if it is hard to see, there are other people feeling the same way as you.