The idea for this article came to me today as I, for the umpteenth time, had to tell someone I don’t see nearly often enough, “I’ll try to make it, but I’ll have to let you know. I’m really busy this week.”
Spoiler alert: “this week” has been every week for the past eight months of this school year.
I’ll admit that being ‘busy’ this year hasn’t been for nothing. Within the past eight months alone, I’ve produced and directed a successful fashion show. I’ve lobbied Congress. I’ve established valuable rapports with leaders in the fashion, media and public policy industries. I’ve written articles that have reached thousands of people and made it onto the social media feeds of publications I, myself, actually read and follow. I’ve secured two internships in the media industry and I’ve even jumpstarted some of my own investment accounts.
All of this I’ve accomplished while being a full-time student, either on co-op or taking classes. I’m incredibly proud of all the work that has gone into making each of these dream opportunities into a reality, but all of that work comes at a price.
Put simply, that price is time with friends and loved ones. That price is not having the freedom in my schedule to see my own parents more than twice a year. It’s working until 11:00 p.m. on most Friday and Saturday nights to meet a deadline, and then forgo seeing my friends because I’m exhausted and just want to go to sleep. It’s working on chemistry homework until nearly midnight on my birthday because I desperately want to boost my GPA in any way I can.
That price is breaking off plans with my boyfriend because I have an assignment due, or an article I have to revise, or some exam I need to study for. It’s being greeted with “Hey, you’re never around anymore!” whenever I do get the rare night off to hang out with my friends. It’s wondering if, even with everything I’m doing and everything I’m sacrificing, I could possibly be doing anything more to work toward my dreams. That price is the small fear that maybe I’m missing out on defining moments of my friendships because I’m putting myself first.
Maybe you, dear reader, know me personally. If you do, please realize that “I’m busy” isn’t a cop-out to avoid spending time with you. There is truly nothing else that I’d rather be doing than catching up with you. Please realize that when I say “I’m sorry!” when I have to break off plans or tentatively reschedule, that I honestly mean that I’m sorry to pass up the opportunity to see you because I was really looking forward to it. But, please also keep in mind that I trust that our friendship can withstand my crazy schedule and I trust that you know I’m always a text or phone call away.
Maybe you don’t know me, but I’m sure you know someone like me. Don’t resent that one friend who always has to cancel or reschedule plans. Don’t tell them to “Relax!” because chances are, they’re just going to reply with a terse “I don’t have time for that.” Instead, send them a quick text to let them know you’re thinking of them. Maybe even ask if they can schedule in time to grab coffee or dinner in a couple of weeks. Let them know that you miss them, or that you think they’re kicking a** in life, because chances are they want to hear all about how you’re kicking a** too. Most importantly, remember that just because life sometimes gets in the way doesn’t make you any less important to them.