It’s hard to have a long-distance relationship especially when it’s with a place: you can’t call it, you can’t talk to it, you can’t really see it, but you can feel it. Currently, there are 25 days left before I see Bulgaria again, however I feel not only excitement but also uneasiness. Every time I go back, it feels different—Bulgaria and I are not what we used to be.
I remember going home for Christmas break—the excitement filled up my whole body and I was counting the seconds until I finally stepped on Bulgarian soil. Now it’s different—I’m so used to being away from Bulgaria that it feels like something very far away from my life.
It’s hard seeing Bulgaria again. Not only the goodbyes become hard but also the hellos. A hello to Bulgaria means a good-bye to my other life and a hello to Carlisle means a good-bye to Bulgaria. I am constantly trapped in a spiral of hellos and goodbyes. Sometimes I feel lost and don’t know which place to call home, but I mostly got used to the idea that I will be constantly moving back and forth.
My long-distance relationship is doomed to have a happy end. Bulgaria and I can never break up since we are meant to be regardless of how many other places I chose to call home.