At first, I thought Rupi Kaur’s writing was just for emotional hipsters posting on Tumblr. My friend had been reading Milk and Honey and constantly posted photos of the pages on Snapchat. She knows I like to write poetry and kept telling me to read it. She insisted, saying that she connected to it so much and still I pushed her efforts aside. Besides, who has the time to read on top of mountains schoolwork?
During winter break, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend and was so angry with him at the time that I spent a week being sad before brushing it off and putting on a strong exterior. I figured the time we spent together just was not worth it to me, so I didn’t care as much. Everyone around me was happy for me, telling me things like “good riddance” or “you’re so much better without him.” I felt empowered by that, feeling like I could do things on my own and I could finally move on with my life.
However, between meeting new people living in my dorm and having my head in my studies, I felt slightly isolated and alone. I wanted someone to talk to like I used to with my ex-boyfriend. We would talk about anything and everything, shared our insights with each other and it just made things feel complete. Regardless of how alone or awkward I felt, I knew I could go to him. After the breakup, things got quiet. I no longer had my “Night Buddy” – as I liked to call him. So, in feeling somewhat alone and in a emotional hipster-posting-on-Tumblr mood, I picked up my own copy of Milk and Honey.
I devoured Kaur’s words in a single night. I put a post-it on each page that I agreed with or connected to and by the end, almost the whole book had post-its. I wanted to use them to write notes on or, perhaps, use her words to inspire me to write about my own relationship. I took each post-it as a prompt, the yellow brightness taunting me, saying “write about this” and as I read her work and wrote my own, I didn’t feel so alone anymore.
I imagined that the book was a way for Kaur to hug all of her readers and tell them it is okay. It is okay to remember, the good, bad and everything in-between, so long as in the end you are able to remember you are strong and can heal. I still harbor feelings of anger towards my ex but I also miss the good times we had together. Milk and Honey helped to talk through my thoughts with my friends on and off-campus. It feels good to open up to them about my relationship. The more I talk, the less lonely I feel. So, this is my thank you letter to Ms. Rupi Kaur: you allowed me to open up again.