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1. “Who I Voted For”
Let’s be real, I know you follow me on Facebook, I know you know who I voted for. I don’t want to get into a political debate while I’m trying to eat, thanks.
2. “Are you dating anyone?”
I’m feeling quite the connection with these mashed potatoes right now, could you give us some alone time to enjoy each others company?
3. Or if you are dating someone, “Where’s Your Little Friend?”
Obviously not here. It’s Thanksgiving, don’t you think that they’re probably also with their family?
4. “What Are You Thankful For?”
OK, yea it’s Thanksgiving, and that’s sort of the point, but I just want to eat and I would feel a little more on the thankful side if I could actually eat the food instead of just staring at it. Can you ask me again when I’m done?
5. “Hows school?”
Currently not in session and I’m trying my best to not think about going back.
6. “You’re getting another plate?”
Um, yes? I’ve been at school, do you think I usually eat this well? I’ll eat my plate, your plate, and mommom’s plate then still get up and get more. I deserve this. Leave me alone.
7. “What are your plans after you graduate?”
I’m supposed to have plans for afterwards? My only plan as of now is to go hide a plate of food to take with me.
8. “You gonna help clean up?”
… Did you not see how many plates I just had? I’m tired. Like really really tired. My stomach hurts. I need to lay down.
9. “How are your grades?”
I don’t see what that has to do with you passing me the macaroni.
10. “You leaving already? Why are you in such a hurry to go home?”
I came and I ate like I intended. My mom is still talking and I’m ready to go home.
I mean really, as great as getting together with your family and enjoying a great meal is, it’s just an opportunity for interrogation. Why doesn’t anyone ever ask if you want some money, if you know I’m in college you know I’m broke.