How to with Sass: How to Tell if He’s Lying

Whether he’s your boyfriend, boy toy, or the apple of your eye for the night, no matter what, you deserve a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T (find out what it means to me).  Have you ever wondered, why is it 5 o’clock in the morning and he still hasn’t responded to my text?  Even T-Pain knows it’s time to go home to his girl.  So, here’s how to tell if that next morning text that says “Sorry I was sleeping” is legit or if it really means “Sorry I was creeping” (on someone else).
1.     Shifty eyes.  Have you ever noticed that even though you may be the only two people in the room, your beau just won’t look at you?  Eyes that look around when you’re having an in-depth convo mean that he is hiding or holding something back. 

2.     He is literally glued to his phone.  Although we don’t recommend going through males’ phones, it is never a good thing when he brings his phone to the bathroom with him.  This probably means he’s busy texting some other sweetie honey boo boo child.

3.     Long pauses.  When you ask a man a simple question, such as what did you do last night, the answer should be pretty straightforward.  If you notice him taking a very long time to think of what he did, chances are he did something wrong.  Also, the response, “I really don’t know, I was blacked out” is not cute.

4.     He never uses your name.  Baby, sweetie and honey are simply replacements and cover-ups for Jessica, Michelle or Angela.  Boys use pet names so that they don’t confuse your name with another.  

5.     His story keeps changing.  “Sorry I passed out early”, “Sorry I lost my phone” “My phone’s broken”, “My phone died”.  Everyone has a smart phone now-a-days and is bound to lend you their charger.  If he uses any of these excuses, run far, far away and hope that the real world has more men to offer than DePauw does.