The night before I left for college, my boyfriend, who is still a senior in high school, and I said our goodbyes. There were lots of tears, hugs, and talking, but ultimately I said, “If we keep talking about how sad leaving and being apart is, it is just going to make it worse. From now on, let’s not acknowledge how bad it sucks and enjoy the times we do get to be together.” So far it has worked! I am not saying that it is not still hard to go weeks without seeing each other, but if you really love the person it is possible to have a healthy relationship and still enjoy college.
1. Communication
Communication is key in any relationship, but it is especially important when you are hours apart. While texting isn’t as good as talking face-to-face, it is still a good way to keep in touch with your SO and let them know you are thinking about them. Even if you don’t have a lot of time before class, send a good morning text. Bitmojis are always a fun and cute way to tell your SO to have a good day. If you are in a serious relationship, there is also no such thing as over communicating. Don’t be afraid to send updates about your day, where you are or what you’re doing. Your SO will probably think it’s sweet that you want to tell him about your day and also lets him know you are okay. When you are far apart, it is easy to worry about one another. While texting can be good for small talk, it is also important to pick a time out to call or FaceTime. Just hearing their voice or getting to see their face is a great way to bring you closer and also be able to have deeper conversation than texting about what you ate for lunch.
2. Don’t Forget to Live Your Own Life
While your relationship is an important part of your life, it shouldn’t be your whole life. The worst thing you can do in college is to be so engulfed in your relationship that you forget to get out and live a little bit. College is a time to experience new things. Your SO should understand this and encourage you to join a club or go make new friends. He will be happy that you are happy and enjoying college. Also, taking advantage of these new opportunities is going to help you grow and be a better person, and your guy will appreciate that. If your boyfriend is very demanding and needs attention all the time to a point where it is affecting your classes and social life, then maybe it is time to have a real talk about things and start to evaluate your choices to see what it best for you. College is all about finding yourself and experiencing new things, and if your relationship is stopping you from doing that, then maybe it’s time to let it go.
3. It Takes Two
Long distance relationships aren’t easy. To make it work, both people have to put forth the effort. Whether this is making time to talk or driving home for the weekend to see them, it can’t always be the same person. No one wants to feel like they are in a one-sided relationship. The little sacrifices you make for each other are also a great way to show how much you care about each other. It is also important to take note of when someone is giving a little extra. If your guy comes up for the weekend, chances are he is missing out on some plans back home. It’s nice to show that you noticed. That doesn’t mean you have to make some grand gesture back, just a simple, “Hey, I really appreciate you driving up to see me this weekend.” This will go a long way in making him feel appreciated and make him more motivated to keep coming up.