True Life: “I Don’t like my friend’s BF/GF.”
Let’s face it, we all have those one or two people that get on our nerves. You probably consider yourself a fairly tolerant person when it comes to meeting people, but everyone has a few exceptions.
But what if that one person you can’t stand happens to be tied to your bestie? You’re probably protective of your BFF, and the thought of sharing them with someone, especially someone that isn’t on the top of your list can be frustrating. You can have legitimate reasons for not liking that person (they’re rude, douchey, snotty etc.), yet your friend seems blissfully happy with the other guy/gal. Feel a little stuck? Here’s some tips do dealing with this dilemma.
1. Try to find things that you like about the person: Even though your list of unlikable things is probably lengthy, you have to have some common ground. Maybe you both share a similar interest, or are taking the same class. When you find yourself in a group situation with that person, try to have a conversation about one of these things.
2. Look at the situation from their perspective: Imagine if you were in their shoes? They are the newcomer in this situation, and they’re aware that you and your BFF are super close, and have been long before they came into the picture. They probably feel uneasy about impeding on your time together with your friend, and maybe uncomfortable when you list off hours of inside jokes. Maybe the trait that you find unlikeable about them is due to their anxiety with the situation.
3. Remember that your friend is dating him/her for a reason: Remember, if your BFF spent the time getting to know this person, and made the huge college step of being in an official relationship, then there must be a reason why this person is so special to them. Maybe even ask your friend what qualities they admire best in their significant other.
4. However, if you feel like this person is unhealthy for your friend and your relationship, tell them: Not everything may be as picture perfect as the earlier points implied. Maybe the reason that you don’t like this person is that you truly believe that they are detrimental to your friend, and will end up hurting them in the long run. The reason your radar went off may be because there truly is a problem with their relationship. Even though it may be an awkward conversation, letting your friend know your concerns will help them in the long run.
If you find yourself in this situation, take tips points to heart, and maybe you can mend the relationship with your BFF’s significant other.