Alright, stop me if you’ve been here before. You’re on your way to class, or to a meeting or whatever, and you see someone you only kind-of know walking towards you. What sort of facial movement/mouth noise to you make towards them? Respond in a way that matches their response and you complete the interaction awkwardly. But what if you initiate the interaction with eye contact and they don’t respond the same way? You probably end up thinking about it for the rest of the day…right? Just me? Cool. Well, on part 1 of Niche Etiquette, a series where I take a wild swing at soothing social anxieties on topics that nobody talks about, I’m going to start with a lesson on Long Distance Greetings.
Long Distance Greeting (Verb): An initiation of interaction with someone who is not immediately in front of you. (I made this definition up, don’t quote me on this… Or do! Let it be known that I am not an etiquette expert in any way and that people are people, not manners robots.)The range of greetings you can use on a person can be based on a series of factors:
A) How Well You Know Them
B) Where You Know Them From
C) If You Like Them
D) If They Like You
E) If They’ve Got Headphones On
(Side Note, if they have headphones on and don’t respond to a non-verbal greeting, such as a wave or a smile, please don’t push them. You never know how someone is feeling or how their day is going.)
The following list consists of the type of people you run into daily on a college campus, and how you might respond to them.
1. The College Professor – This one has two parts
A) Had them for class and liked them? Spoken hello and maybe stop for polite conversation. I wouldn’t recommend turning around and changing direction to continue the small talk, because stalking your professor might be weird… maybe. B) Haven’t had them/ Didn’t like them.
A polite spoken hello or teeth showing smile usually works here. Try to resist the urge to lose it around them if they assign too many group projects.
2. Fellow Student
Taken a class with them recently? Teeth showing smile, a wave, or a spoken hello are all acceptable. Been a while? A wave or polite head nod works well here. Project partner? Spoken Hello and small talk.
3. Friend
Congratulations, this is an easy one! Spoken hellos or small talk are all game, and feel free to change direction to join them for a while if that’s doable for you. If it’s a best friend, and you’ve discussed physical contact previously, a tackling hug is cool too.
4. Attractive Person
AH OH NO… THAT HOT PERSON IN YOUR BIO LAB/HALL/LITERATURE CLUB IS APPROACHING. QUICKLY LEAP INTO THE BUSHES. I’m kidding. Embarrassment ruins foliage. Get out of the shrubs please. Thank you. Okay, now that you’re out, this one’s another two-part option: A) Never even spoken to them more than once Teeth showing smile and waving hello work here well. Maybe you’ll even get a smile back! B) Frequent interaction Congrats! Honestly, I’m awful at talking to attractive people. Say hello, initiate small talk. If the conversation gets deep and you’re still in the middle of the path, please step aside – there’s no flirting lane on most college campuses.
5. University Staff/Crew
FOR THE LOVE OF WATERMELON JUST BE NICE TO THESE PEOPLE. Whether they are maintenance people, or construction workers, or cafeteria staff, just be polite. They do so much stuff for you that you don’t typically see. Closed mouth smile, teeth showing smile, and waving are all good options. Just be courteous and if they’re working, try to not be underfoot.
And that’s pretty much it! If you vaguely stick to these guidelines, you’ll be interacting with people like a pro in no time!